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Prikvačeni tweet
FRIEND: It's called cauliflower. It's not ghost broccoli. ME: [taking a long drag on my cigarette] Listen kid, I know what I saw.
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Roxi Horror proslijedio/la je Tweet
[minutes after eating mac & cheese] u know what would be amazing right now- and honestly it’s been a while since I’ve had it- mac & cheese
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
All I want for Valentine's Day is a large lasagna & an 18 hour nap on top of my refrigerator.
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
FINDING A VALENTINE • difficult & time consuming • makes you feel vulnerable BUYING A NEW SWORD • fast & easy • you will NOT feel vulnerable • someone might see you & think "who is the cool person with the sword? I'd like to buy them chicken nuggets in a romantic setting"
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Roxi Horror proslijedio/la je Tweet
If you're single on Valentine's Day, it's not because you're undesirable or unattractive. It's because you didn't take the time to summon a demon & ask it out on a date and that is 100% your fault.
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Roxi Horror proslijedio/la je Tweet
Girl, are you a barnacle? Because you suck and I can't get you off my boat
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Roxi Horror proslijedio/la je Tweet
If you run out of pet names for your partner, just call them assorted baking ingredients: sugar, honey, cinnamon, vanilla, garlic powder, Montreal steak seasoning, butter, pumpkin.
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
I'm not like other girls. I'm a tiny little goblin protecting a pile of old spoons & I cry "Noooo! My spoons!" whenever someone tries to take one.
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Roxi Horror proslijedio/la je Tweet
ages 14-25: i would like to listen to more bands ages 26-??: i have listened to enough bands, now i would like power
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
GOING TO THE CLUB • expensive & exhausting • people might bump into you STAYING HOME SICK • free & easy • unlimited naps • people will go out of their way to avoid touching you at all costs
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Roxi Horror proslijedio/la je Tweet
uh actually going through life on 4-5hrs of sleep per night is a perfectly way of doing functioning for having to doing. in your living time
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Call me old fashioned but I was raised to serve my wife. I clean the dishes and cook her food. I do whatever she says because she's my wife & she makes the rules around the house. She owns me. I am her property. If she ever cheats, it's because I was lacking & that's on me.https://twitter.com/vanookirby/status/1222666372574040074 …
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The only time sex counts as premarital sex is if you plan to get married. If you don't plan to get married to that person, God says it is actually fine.
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Roxi Horror proslijedio/la je Tweet
I wonder if caterpillars know they're gonna fly some day or they just start building a cocoon and are like 'why am I doing this'.
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Roxi Horror proslijedio/la je Tweet
When it's late & you're thinking about a large boulder the size of a small boulder again.pic.twitter.com/6IZq9P6gwa
Prikaži ovu nitHvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Roxi Horror proslijedio/la je Tweet
[How I imagined my 20s as a kid] partying, drinking, staying out all night [What my 20s are actually like] keeping a close eye on the birds in the backyard because I'm pretty sure they are in a rival gang that opposes the squirrels & I wanna see how that drama plays out honestly
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Roxi Horror proslijedio/la je Tweet
FRIEND: Your kitchen looks great ME: Wanna see the new garbage disposal? FRIEND: Sure ME: [opening cupboard to reveal a large raccoon napping] His name is Boris
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Roxi Horror proslijedio/la je Tweet
i did what i needed to do to survive, then i did a bunch of other stuff i felt like doing.
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Roxi Horror proslijedio/la je Tweet
GETTING MARRIED • expensive & boring • you might get divorced BEFRIENDING FOREST CREATURES • affordable & exciting • you have a lifelong bond • the animals will help you clean the house
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Roxi Horror proslijedio/la je Tweet
I hate to admit this but our feelings on certain things really do change as we get older. 10 years ago, I would have preferred to get a new video game instead of an engagement ring but now that I'm older, I would prefer to get a domesticated raccoon instead of an engagement ring.
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Hi! If you like jokes/memes, follow me
@roxiqt here or on Instagram (http://instagram.com/roxiqt ) & check out my funny pals:@smithsara79@KylePlantEmoji@itsonlyaubrey@PhilJamesson@TheAndrewNadeau@WhaJoTalkinBout@catstronomical@leakypod@Coll3enG@thomasjeferstan@girlfr0gPrikaži ovu nitHvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi
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