Ross Putman

Are we deciding it's OK that headlines from actual news publications all now read like lines Diablo Cody cut from the first draft of JUNO?

Is it late enough to eat 7 almonds yet?

Look if you're a detective in a script you just need to wait for the suspect to slip and say something THEY COULD ONLY KNOW IF THEY DID IT!

Ah, the things I'm doing to attempt to get the Apple student discount on this upcoming laptop purchase.

Press: why is the film industry doing so poorly this summer? Industry: here's your 37th serving of ICE AGE! Yummy!

"Wow holy shit this script is so good! But come back when it's farther along." [project never moves farther along bc people don't help it]

I teared up a bit while watching this. While one wishes that people would simply embrace this message regardless... http://fb.me/7TBEeiIHe 

Age 20: showering with girlfriend is a sexy treat! Age 30: this shower is my special alone place and please don't take it from me

FB HIVE MIND: need a sound mixer/boom op combo person that would be willing to travel to Pittsburgh for a 9 day... http://fb.me/9qCIt1qCi 

Is this James Franco v. Bryan Cranston movie real or an extended sketch making fun of that kind of movie?

Everyone I know is in Palm Springs and I'm here getting semi-drunk on my couch and contemplating tacos.

Pro tip #74: If you're going to include an actual celebrity as a major character in your script, maybe spell their name correctly.

Going to start signing my emails "Hearts, Stars, and Horseshoes" instead of "Best" and see how long it takes for me to be running Paramount.

I like internet because it allows me to like things I agree with and ignore things I don't! What a great invention!

We're going to talk a lot about how sequels are killing the business this summer and then I'm going to see JASON... http://fb.me/2ZA2s6jmy 

Is there a bowl cut emoji?

That John C. Reilly can simultaneously be a universally-lauded Oscar-caliber actor and a guy that says "ya... http://fb.me/4w0ZPv4BM 

I would love to be a novelist living in a gorgeous pre-war multi-bedroom NYC apartment filled with books and... http://fb.me/4NsWaWbNa 

Going to puke-shame my cat today by calling her Pukey McPukerson in a cute, cat-talk voice.