ruby 

@roobeekeane

writer, comedian, self-proclaimed human ⚠️ social person at

London, England
Vrijeme pridruživanja: veljača 2019.

Tweetovi

Blokirali ste korisnika/cu @roobeekeane

Jeste li sigurni da želite vidjeti te tweetove? Time nećete deblokirati korisnika/cu @roobeekeane

  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    13. ruj 2019.

    Tea: - calming - many flavours - the answer to all problems Coffee: - Anxiety Juice™ - 3 heartbeats for the price of 1 - more than 4 cups and you can talk to electricity

    Prikaži ovu nit
    Poništi
  2. 2. velj

    anyone whose school report said they were a “pleasure to teach” now has an anxiety disorder. I don’t make the rules

    Poništi
  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    Prikaži ovu nit
    Poništi
  4. 29. sij

    “I’ve CC’d in my boss” - professional - corporate - mildly threatening “You wanna say that in front of Greg?” - confident - threat level 9000 - who is Greg and what is he capable of

    Poništi
  5. 27. sij

    when the argument ended 36 hours ago but you’re still thinking about what you should’ve said

    Poništi
  6. 25. sij

    [to the tune of Eleanor Rigby] Birmingham Aldi: Went in to buy just some coffee and butter and bread, Left with twelve sheds

    Prikaži ovu nit
    Poništi
  7. 24. sij

    Tesco, Sainsbury’s, ASDA: • boring • no middle aisle • cashiers reasonably fast Lidl and Aldi: • cashiers break sound barrier • copyright law? who is she • go in for bread and coffee, leave with 9 sporks and a haunted bin

    Prikaži ovu nit
    Poništi
  8. 22. sij

    Yesterday my colleague called me a 'book murderer' because I cut long books into quarters to create a more complex narrative. Does anyone else do this? Is it just me?

    Poništi
  9. 21. sij

    IS YOUR CHILD TEXTING ABOUT THE PLAGUE? • BRB - big round buboes • LMAO - let me apply ointment • BYOB - bring your own beak • WTF - waving thy flowers • OMG - ointment me, Gary • RSPCA - Rat Squad: Plague Carrying Association

    Poništi
  10. 21. sij

    replying “k” to a text: - annoying - passive aggressive - won’t get a reply replying with this medieval initial: - layered - shows passion for art history - guaranteed reply

    Poništi
  11. 20. sij

    if I was Prince Harry I would simply drop the royal title and become Harry Spice-Girl. The Queen can’t deny he is sporty, posh, scary, ginger and baby.

    Poništi
  12. 15. sij

    if you’re ever feeling sad just remember that the Old English word for squirrel is ‘Acweorna’ which translates as ‘oak botherer’

    Poništi
  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    15. sij
    Poništi
  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    13. sij
    Odgovor korisniku/ci

    QUEEN OF THE EMBRYOS tbh.

    Poništi
  15. 13. sij

    I was an IVF baby and whenever I feel like I can’t do something, I remember that before I was even born I killed off 13 other embryos and emerged victorious

    Prikaži ovu nit
    Poništi
  16. 13. sij

    “I was an IVF baby” - cool - fairly interesting - feat of medical engineering “I was created in a lab” - will silence a room - suggests you have a specific purpose - explains your godless existence

    Prikaži ovu nit
    Poništi
  17. 13. sij

    Guide to instant coffee measurements: 1 spoon: ready for the day 2 spoons: ready to write a think piece 3 spoons: ready to confront Gavin from Accounts 4 spoons: can understand the whispers of the wind 5 spoons: develop own gravitational pull 6+ spoons: certain death

    Poništi
  18. 10. sij

    in Year 7 sex education our teacher made us write down all the “naughty” words we knew, so he could read them out and prove they weren’t funny. To this day the image of a 60 year old man solemnly reading “boobies, anus, hand job” is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

    Poništi
  19. 6. sij

    “as per my previous email,” • corporate • passive aggressive • doesn’t convey level of rage “It’s amazing you can type when you can’t even read” • spicy • opportunity to attach a photo of aloe vera for their burn • can say “it was a compliment” when you are disciplined

    Poništi
  20. 5. sij

    opened tinder, saw someone whose only photo was a prison mugshot, closed tinder

    Poništi
  21. 31. pro 2019.

    me: [tries to resize an image] Microsoft Word: 📎 lmaooo okay... [deletes all vowels, pastes the Aldi employee handbook, starts 3D printing a haunted amulet]

    Poništi

Čini se da učitavanje traje već neko vrijeme.

Twitter je možda preopterećen ili ima kratkotrajnih poteškoća u radu. Pokušajte ponovno ili potražite dodatne informacije u odjeljku Status Twittera.

    Možda bi vam se svidjelo i ovo:

    ·