Rich Barney

@rkbarney

SF comedian. Improv, sketch, and sometimes standup.

San Francisco, CA
Joined February 2010
337 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Feb 4

    [ SUPERBOWL AD] SOLDIER, dying to MEDIC: Tell my mother that [to camera] KFC’s $20 Fill Up™ has 8 pieces of Original Recipe®, Extra Crispy™, or Kentucky Grilled Chicken®, a large cole slaw, 4 biscuits and 2 large mashed potatoes and gravy to keep families satisfied! *dies*

    13 retweets 39 likes
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  2. Retweeted
    20 hours ago
    Replying to

    Is this a Tim and Eric sketch or are we just actually in hell now

    6 replies 55 retweets 896 likes
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  3. 18 hours ago

    if you put two spaces after a period you are fired.

    2 replies 7 likes
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  4. Feb 27

    They gave me a free cookie at Subway so I guess this isn't rock bottom after all.

    7 likes
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  5. Retweeted
    Feb 26

    a streetcar named retire

    The District is seriously considering scrapping its current D.C. Streetcar vehicles, just two years after they first carried riders
    Show this thread
    48 replies 383 retweets 1,897 likes
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  6. Feb 26

    I have a comedy show TUESDAY. Come check it out. I made this video to convince you.

    1 reply 4 likes
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  7. Retweeted
    Feb 25

    I've started unfriending everyone on Facebook who has a birthday. Sorry but enough is enough.

    1 reply 4 retweets 96 likes
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  8. Feb 24

    *leaves social gathering abruptly to go home and stress-eat a comically large sandwich*

    2 replies 9 likes
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  9. Retweeted
    11 Nov 2017

    Hermit Crab: Yeah, so I just live on this beach, doing my thing in my shell... Permit Crab: Sir, You need a license for that...

    5 replies 154 retweets 277 likes
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  10. Retweeted
    Feb 23

    Hey you say that your mission as First Lady is to stop cyber bullying, well then, don’t you think it would have been smart to have a convo with your step-son before he liked a post about a false conspiracy theory which in turn put a target on my back

    3,852 replies 53,529 retweets 184,736 likes
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  11. Retweeted
    3 Oct 2017

    Jason Mraz pumps himself up before a concert by saying "Give 'em the old Mrazzle dazzle."

    5 replies 498 retweets 1,619 likes
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  12. Retweeted
    Feb 22

    I just donated to March For Our Lives in the name of Leslie Knope, and if you liked Parks and Rec, and get annoyed when dark money-funded pro-slaughter groups like the NRA appropriate its characters on twitter, I hope you will too.

    68 replies 1,128 retweets 6,241 likes
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  13. Feb 21

    The reason he was coached to say 'i hear you' is because it acknowledges someone's grievance without having to agree with them. Agreement requires action. They plan to do nothing to stop this from happening again.

    4 likes
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  14. Retweeted
    Feb 21

    This shit is unacceptable *gestures to entire life*

    59 retweets 105 likes
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  15. Feb 20

    Sometimes I like to ruin a nice day by logging on to twitter to see if our dumb idiot president made any tweets.

    6 likes
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  16. Retweeted
    Feb 17

    I got 99 tabs but I generally know where things are

    849 replies 23,313 retweets 72,532 likes
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  17. Feb 14

    There's a really tough guy in this Uber pool. I can tell because he's wearing a leather jacket.

    1 reply 1 like
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  18. Feb 14

    Nothing but respect for *my* valentine.

    1 reply 1 retweet
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  19. Feb 13

    *National Treasure 3: Portrait of Secrets* NIC CAGE, holding blacklight wand: Look! There's a message!

    1 retweet 1 like
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  20. Retweeted
    Feb 12

    opportunity: two of your housemates take a trip battle plan: rest of house bands together to convert their bedroom into an error-filled anthropological exhibit from the future

    170 replies 10,307 retweets 33,551 likes
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