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@rjhomuth

40 goals scored last season playing for my team the

Chicago, Illinois
Joined March 2009
16 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. 18 hours ago

    honestly i don't watch "black mirror" because i assume every episode is gonna have some contrived shit like "the russians want to own your face and you're going to give it to them for free" and i guess reality is just that fucking lazy too

    This is my favorite part of faceapp's terms of service.
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    2 likes
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  2. Jul 14

    not as cool as OJ tweeting but still pretty sick

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    1 like
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  3. Retweeted
    Jul 14

    Why be plant dad when you could be a plant daddy?”

    1 retweet 1 like
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  4. Jul 12

    lmao we're so fucked

    This Tweet is unavailable.
    3 likes
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  5. Jul 12

    a little worried about getting a humboldt park alligator tattoo because what if it comes out and says some racist shit later

    1 retweet 5 likes
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  6. Jul 10

    i fuckin love this neighborhood

    0:14
    On this beautiful Wednesday evening that marks day two of alligator watch, our elusive gator is being treated to a live band and dancing on salsa night at the Humboldt Park Boathouse. No wonder our new friend doesn't want to leave.
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    6 likes
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  7. Jul 10

    i generally think of myself as a well-adjusted and reasonable guy who would never expect to wake up one day and notice his ex-girlfriend had blocked him on venmo and yet here we are

    1 reply 7 likes
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  8. Jul 9

    4 likes
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  9. Jul 9

    FUCK

    We have a trade to announce! Forward Alexander Nylander (AAV of $863,333) has been acquired from Buffalo in exchange for defenseman Henri Jokiharju.
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  10. Retweeted
    May 2

    Over the course of my job hunt (🙃) I keep coming across really rad jobs that I do not personally want but that somebody great should get. I am going to start tweeting them in this thread!

    2 replies 14 retweets 66 likes
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  11. Jul 7

    i know all these people that are straight up like "yo, i can't wait to go the this garage rock show"

    1 like
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  12. Jul 6

    i'm covertly reading "infinite jest" and it honestly rules so hard

    What’s your hottest literature take?
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    3 likes
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  13. Jul 5

    so good to see my friend kyle has been liberated

    0:05
    Now that I am no longer the employee of a multinational corporation with a carefully cultivated image, I can present to you my character "Horny Dracula"
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  14. Jul 4

    my dog also served in desert storm so you can imagine the levels of stress today

    1 reply 2 likes
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  15. Retweeted
    Jul 3

    If Nike calls Ted Cruz’ wife ugly, he will eventually support them

    147 replies 1,516 retweets 8,930 likes
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  16. Jul 3

    instagram can be down, that is ok, but did it have to go down literally right as i was being sent a Nude

    2 replies 6 likes
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  17. Jul 3

    thanks lebron james

    2 likes
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  18. Jul 3

    I just gave $4.20 to . See how you can help and win tickets!

    1 reply 3 likes
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  19. Jul 3

    grubhub is sick because you can order chicken strips off the kid's menu and it's like how are they even gonna know

    9 likes
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  20. Jul 1

    robin lehner likes donald trump so he can go kick rocks for all i care

    2 likes
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