Damn PTSD really makes you go through it sometimes I gotta tell you. I wish there were social media filters to block out some of this triggering shit tbh it really sends me to some bad places. *trigger warning* /1
Anyway my moms had a Disney fast pass to death for the past year or so. She’s on oxygen and can’t do much independently anymore etc...last year there was a pretty bad scare where we thought she was going to die /2
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She lives with the person who sexually abused me for ten years and I remember crying about the potential death of my mother and nearly panicking over the possibility of having to be in the same room as the person who for the majority of my life has made me feel ruined /3
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And I remember feeling awful bc my first thought was “I just need my mom to not die until he does.” Because I’m not sure I can go to my moms funeral with him being in the same room as me /4
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And I was thinking about that today as I was thinking about the eventuality of when he does die and how thankful I am that I will not have to go on Facebook and see strangers talking about what a great man he was /5
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