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How many Cowboys fans devastated over the loss of Romo could rewind and find tape of themselves calling for his ever-living severed head?
6 retweets 5 favoritesIt's not *always* good to be the king. Causes of death for Roman emperors... http://imgur.com/ZaGz45K
2 retweets 2 favoritesThe mad geniuses of OK Go are at it again! They never disappoint... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1ZB_rGFyeU …
1 retweet 2 favorites
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Every time the power goes out, my microwave demands not just to have its clock reset but to know what YEAR it is. It's 1453 asshole.
4 retweets 32 favoritesAn Angelenos-only tweet. AHA! I KNEW IT! http://la.curbed.com/archives/2014/10/405_commutes_now_a_minute_worse_than_before_carpool_lane.php …
1 retweet 1 favoriteHighly enjoyed Laggies, thanks to excellent work by @andreaseigel and @lynnsheltonfilm - fall turning out to be the best season for movies.
Up to about 20 passwords in my life for various accounts. All need 8 letters plus numbers. Many need occasional upgrading. Miss the 70's.
110 retweets 286 favoritesThe quickest way someone can lose my respect is to have a sunburn.
1 retweet 5 favoritesThis should just be cool, but isn’t it kind of creepy that we’ve forced another species to grow to look like us? pic.twitter.com/mkydJjYVu0
Only preseason, but Chris Paul and Eric Bledsoe are going at it at Staples. This could blossom into a great rivalry. Go Suns!
8 retweets 16 favorites
Confident my bf would never murder me bc it would entail: 1. Making a plan 2. Getting tarp 3. Having friend for an alibi 4. Digging a hole
5 retweets 2 favoritesI'd like to place a bet on how all of Floyd Mayweather's betting ends.
4 favoritesOh my God, I’m going crazy! “@AndyJ0seph: For real though, this isn't English (or any language). https://vine.co/v/ObbQKYFaPFz ”
Oscar for best director should just go to the most recent guy who had to get a performance out of the owner of Papa John’s.
8 retweets 18 favorites
Will be interesting to see if Michigan joins Arizona, Texas, and Virginia in the criminally transparent practice of banning Teslas. #idiocy
Autocorrect turns Wetzel’s in Wetzel’s Pretzels to ‘wet zeal,’ describes my feelings exactly.
1 retweet 5 favoritesClarification on Slurpee tweet. Bought Slurpee. Drove home for 10 mins. By arrival, 1/3 of Slurpee had disappeared without being touched.
1 retweet 5 favorites
I have been outrageously blessed and I thank God for everything he has done for me. Ready to start my life as an Arizona Cardinal... #BIRDGANG #teamsuccess
Slurpees seem to drink themselves! Who understands?!
1 retweet 6 favoritesSlashfilm has created a handy superhero movie calendar for the next decade... http://www.slashfilm.com/superhero-movie-release-dates/ …
6 retweets 8 favoritesTwitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup.
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