ren

@rensstiimpy

wait this isn't the cheese aisle // main:

Vrijeme pridruživanja: kolovoz 2019.

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  1. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    does anyone have any enriched uranium they aren't using??

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    Someone called me clueless so I had to whip out my Clue board and enact Colonel Mustard getting bludgeoned with the candlestick in the conservatory.

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj 2018.

    I went to a bar that was 1900s brothel themed and my favorite part was coughing blood into a handkerchief and quickly hiding it away, whispering "I mustn't let a soul see."

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    Me: *dies and enters heaven* Steve Irwin: *jumping on an angel and grappling it onto its back* See how his wings are just flapping? That’s a good sign of a healthy temper.

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  5. prije 12 sati

    what kind of world do we live in where you can't get a coke slushie delivered straight to your door at 4am

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj
    Odgovor korisniku/ci

    Strategic murder, bisexuality, and wine.

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj
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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    As a Level 5 bookseller I don't have access to the Blood Freezing Stare ability yet, but it's only a matter of time

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    (whispering in your ear) “Will there be peace for the mice?”

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj
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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    please make yourself comfortable :)

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    They said it couldn’t be done. They were right

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 21 sat
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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I don’t hug people but I do squeeze their bodies to suss out how much pulp they’d have when liquefied and no one has detected the difference between those two gestures yet

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    [Perfect Kermit Voice]: why are there so many brands of plain yogurt

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj 2018.

    [gets anchor tattoo removed] Oh dear [slowly floats towards the sun]

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 18 sati

    Oooo I’m Death. I'm a mean skeleton with a fancy sword. Fuck off, bone boy

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 14 sati

    her: i wonder what's he thinking about. . . me: around 9,000 BCE there was a culture that had no burial practice other than stuffing their dead into the walls or under the floors of their homes, or sometimes just strapping the corpse to their ceiling in plain sight

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    The Councíl Of Colorful Dimpwittery Will See You Now

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  20. 4. velj

    the remarkable ability to multiply

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