abe

@redirect

interested in gold mines, oil wells, shipping, real estate

Seattle, WA
Joined July 2008
16 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Retweeted
    13 Sep 2016

    My parrot died today. Its last words were, "Fuck, I think my parrot is about to die."

    139 replies 12,684 retweets 32,629 likes
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  2. Retweeted
    26 Mar 2018

    The girl Flo Rida sings about in Low was wearing apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur, baggy sweatpants, AND reeboks with the straps all at the same time so we must conclude that she was, in fact, a centaur. In this essay I will

    665 replies 77,812 retweets 350,630 likes
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  3. Retweeted
    2 Mar 2018
    Replying to

    github is just code deviantart

    12 replies 474 retweets 1,628 likes
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  4. Retweeted
    23 Dec 2017

    *Werner Herzog voice* The drama lies not in the fact that the child sees her mother kissing Santa Claus, but in the choice that the mother now confronts: admitting either that Santa is a lie or that love is a lie.

    199 replies 12,956 retweets 42,844 likes
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  5. Retweeted
    28 Sep 2017

    All true Canadians know there is only one proper use of the new 280 character limit on Twitter. | Tous les vrais Canadiens savent qu'il n'y a qu'une bonne utilisation de la nouvelle limite de 280 caractères sur Twitter.

    785 replies 37,257 retweets 121,432 likes
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  6. Retweeted
    2 Aug 2017

    Soundgarden: Black hole sun, won't you come and wash away the rain Neil deGrasse Tyson: Literally nothing about that is right

    148 replies 8,951 retweets 29,955 likes
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  7. Retweeted
    13 Jul 2017

    Yesterday, talking to young kids abt triangles, a 5 year-old suggested that different triangles were different views of the same triangle?

    46 replies 930 retweets 2,988 likes
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  8. Retweeted
    16 Apr 2017

    On my first day in a Roman prison they took away my name and gave me a number - I was LIVID

    18 replies 766 retweets 2,157 likes
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  9. Retweeted
    11 Mar 2017

    And so, Dr. Baloo finds himself leaping from life to life, hoping each time that his next leap... will be the leap home.

    130 replies 5,147 retweets 11,117 likes
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  10. Retweeted
    7 Jan 2017
    Replying to

    tfw ur super-religious coworker is choking someone in a staff meeting

    12 replies 1,530 retweets 3,256 likes
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  11. Retweeted
    19 Dec 2016

    This video of an extinction-level asteroid impact set to Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire is what we all need right now.

    110 replies 1,723 retweets 2,390 likes
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  12. Retweeted
    11 Dec 2016

    1 reply 21 retweets 63 likes
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  13. Retweeted
    9 Oct 2016

    MODERATOR: You vowed to cover all the lands in a second darkness SAURON: That was just locker room talk

    7 replies 740 retweets 1,132 likes
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  14. Retweeted
    4 Oct 2016

    JESUS CHRIST

    25 replies 888 retweets 698 likes
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  15. Retweeted
    10 Sep 2016

    Donald Fagen interviewing Ennio Morricone.

    39 replies 1,369 retweets 2,158 likes
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  16. Retweeted
    30 Jul 2016

    A remarkable difference between the US and Europe

    49 replies 655 retweets 743 likes
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  17. Retweeted
    5 Jun 2016

    omg in an essay one of my students just confused "emulate" and "immolate." "Find the writers you admire and immolate them."

    400 replies 4,105 retweets 8,106 likes
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