Ironically, my time spent in the transphobic lesbian feminist community makes it harder for me to connect with womanhood/being a dyke because now I associate it with all kinds of toxic shit like transphobia and abusive behavior.
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I feel a lot more ambivalent about lesbian culture now too because I view it as a source of transphobia that's caused harm not only in the LGBT community but has also spread into the larger culture through some lesbian feminists choosing to work with right-wing Christians, etc.
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I still see myself as a dyke as well as transmasculine but it's gets complicated when I think about how other dykes encouraged me to suppress and deny an important part of myself and used my story to hurt other trans people.
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