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It was like they still saw me as trans while claiming they didn't believe that trans was real and anyone who thought they were trans were delusional. But they treated me like they treated trans men, not people they saw as "real women". I still got called mutilated and delusional.
They dismissed a lot of what I and other detrans women said if it contradicted their theories. We'd try to tell them that their idea of what the trans community was like was wrong, drawing on our lived experience, and they'd tell us we were still dissociated & in the trans cult.
To some rad fems, if you ever transitioned or identified as trans, you're tainted forever. To them that means you're crazy, delusional, your perceptions can't be trusted. If you transitioned your body's defective. Basically you're inferior to them.
Detransitioning in no way spared me from transphobia from rad fems but it made it impossible to name it. I was brainwashed into thinking transphobia wasn't real while getting subjected to it. I was deprived of having a way to name how and why I was being mistreated.
I could call how rad fems treated me misogyny but I wasn't supposed to see it as a form of transphobia, even though I was specifically being targeted for having transitioned and living as a trans person, even though they were treating me like they were treating trans men.
Detrans women did what we could to support each other but now I feel like some of them encouraged me to put up with abuse for years. Somehow I was just supposed to accept that other members of my supposed community were never going to see or treat me like an equal.
The idea that transmasculine people can find community and "sisterhood" in the rad fem community is such a joke. I was dehumanized so many times, people tried to exploit me for their personal and political agendas and a lot them didn't even see me as a "real woman".
I put up with so much bullshit. It never got better. At first I thought I might be able to educate some rad fems and change their minds but it became very clear they had no intentions of giving up their theories or feelings of superiority. They want someone to look down on.
A transmasculine person or detrans woman who gets involved in rad fem or gender crit groups is joining with people who see them as inferior and are willing to abuse them. The rad fem community is not a safe place for transmasc or detrans people, no matter what it says.
There are plenty of rad fems who try to act better than the more overt bigots but do they kick the bigots out? Do they say this behavior is totally unacceptable and we wouldn't tolerate it and anyone who acts this way will face consequences? I've never seen it.
Transphobic rad fems are a hate group that tries to recruit some of the people they want to eliminate, pretending they can "help" us. It's fucking bullshit. Being brainwashed and gaslit isn't liberation, it's abuse and conversion practices.
I spent years being treated like shit by people claiming to fight for liberation for women. In end it became clear they just wanted to use me to justify their bigotry and lash out at trans people. They didn't give a fuck about my liberation or well-being.
They're a fucking hate group trying to pass themselves off as radicals fighting patriarchy. They can't even create a community where detrans women are safe, respected & treated as equals. They're not fighting for women's liberation, they're fighting for the "right" to be bigots.
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