Convincing a trans person that they're trans because of trauma is incredibly harmful. It's a conversion practice. Lots of people like to make a connection between trauma and gender dysphoria but there's not much research or other evidence to back it up. People need to know that.
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Working through my trauma helped me accept being trans because it reduced my self-hatred and rejection and helped me love and accept myself as I am. I can understand why I thought there could be a connection between my past trauma and my sense of gender because I was attacked...
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... and mistreated a lot for being very gender nonconforming/ambiguous. It would've been helpful to explore that possibility without any assumptions about what relationship, if any, there was between trauma and my gender. Let me figure out what was going on instead of trying...
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...to fit my life into a predetermined theory. Working with the raw feelings left behind by trauma is hard and confusing. Turning to theories that seem explain your problems and offer clear solutions can be very tempting compared to facing past pain directly.
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I think there are going to be a lot of trans trauma survivors coming out transphobic detrans communities with new wounds to heal from. It's devastating to realize the community you went to for healing actually hurt you more. A lot of the "support" I got no longer seems genuine.
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I'm sorry for the role I played in spreading harmful ideas about trauma and trans identity. I'm sorry to anyone who's been negatively impacted by those ideas, whether by internalizing them or having others use them against you. I hope you get whatever you need to heal from that.
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It pains me now to watch transphobic groups spread these theories in order to argue for conversion practices for trans people, trans youth in particular. I'm horrified to be honest. This shit hurt me so badly, the idea of it being pushed on youth makes me so upset and angry.
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I'm so tired of trans people's trauma being used against us. So tired. We don't deserve this.
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