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What we remember is all the gay hypocrites, but human beings are never so straightforward. It was a lot of gay hypocrites/self-hating gays and then some other people who were there for complicated reasons.
Those are good points. In my research on ex-gay people and conversion therapy, it does sound like most people involved experience same-sex desires they are trying to suppress. Many were people who grew up very Christian and had little contact w/ gay communities.
A lot of ex-gay people can't find a way to be both gay and Christian, so they suppress their sexuality and embrace a religious identity. I think some "ex-trans" detrans people do something similar with feminism instead of Christianity. That was part of my deal.
I'm not sure, but I strongly suspect the ex-gay picture might have looked a bit different in the 90s, when I was in high school and first read about the movement. I remember stories about men who used a lot of drugs and had mental illness who felt taken advantage of by gay men.
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