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I don't have a problem with people detransitioning. Some people are a lot happier after they detransition. I certainly don't think all detrans people are "ex-trans". My main problem is the unchecked transphobia in some detrans communities.
Promoting the idea that any trans person can detransition and be happier, that anyone with gender dysphoria can "reconcile with their sex" ends up hurting people because it's not true. Getting a trans person to believe that is just going to lead to suffering and self-denial.
Detransitioning isn't always "ex-trans" bullshit but it can turn into that in the wrong circumstances and when it does people are going to get hurt. I don't want other people to get hurt like I did. I want people who have been hurt by detransitioning to know they're not alone.
And it's not cool when detrans people spread transphobic beliefs or work with anti-trans organizations. A lot of detrans people don't care about the well-being of trans people and look down on them. They try to change trans healthcare without working with trans people.
I used to engage in the same kind of behavior I now criticize. I used to believe the same transphobic bullshit. I don't think I'm better than transphobic detrans people because I've made the same mistakes. People can change how they act and think.
Naming harmful actions and beliefs is not an attack. I'm not saying these are bad people who need to be punished. I'm saying these are harmful actions that people could change. I would love it if transphobic detrans people recognized the harm they were engaging in and stopped...
...but I'm also not counting on that happening. By naming the harm I can at least give support to those harmed and help trans people resist transphobia coming from detrans people. I can at least help counter harmful detrans narratives.
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