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Plenty of people detransition, work through whatever obstacles they face and get on with life. Detransitioning stops being a huge concern for lots of detrans people just like transition stops being a concern for many trans people after a certain point.
I first encountered detrans people as a teenager exploring online trans communities. Almost all the detrans people I found then were trans-supportive and welcome in those spaces. Trans people listened to their perspectives on transition, were interested in their experiences.
I don't recall seeing much conflict or hostility between trans and detrans people until the creation of detrans communities grounded in transphobic ideologies. It was only then that detransition started being strongly associated with transphobic beliefs.
One of the things that the rad fem detrans community did was to create a framing of detransition that was anti-trans and then spread it as widely as we could. We created an "ex-trans" detransition narrative through our own testimonies and theories.
I strongly regret my contribution to spreading anti-trans detrans narratives and theories. I regret contributing to conflicts betwen trans and detrans people. I want to do what I can to heal damage from my past actions, including working towards more trans/detrans cooperation.
The association been detransition and transphobic ideologies was created and it can be unmade. Trans and detrans people can support each other and act in solidarity as we have for decades.
This was my experience too. The first few trans people I ever knew irl detransed and saw themselves as a member of the community, or at least sharing interests and struggles w trans people. Didnt see the identity become so politicized until later
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