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There need to be spaces for people who detransition that don't politicize the experience or push specific narratives onto people. That leave room for the possibility that detransition may not work out for a person. Spaces that focus on getting people whatever support they need.
I didn't get a lot of my needs met in my old community. I got support from people dealing with the same problems I was facing in my life and that helped me survive rough times during my detransition. But that support was mixed up with so much toxic transphobia.
It was helpful being able to talk to other people who'd been on t and passed as male but were trying to live as women. It was helpful talking about how misogyny and lesbophobia had hurt me, about trauma I'd faced growing up as a female genderweirdo.
I wish that could've happened in a context that wasn't transphobic, that didn't see all trans identity as false consciousness or inherently in opposition to being a woman/dyke. That recognized that transition could be damaging but didn't assume this was true in all cases.
I needed a space for the entire set of experiences I went through. Somewhere where I could freak out about transition ruining my life and then gradually realize that wasn't true and make peace with my transition. Where I could change my mind about what my experiences meant.
Where I could get support as I figured out how to live as woman with a testosterone-modifed body and continue to be supported after my sense of gender changed and woman stopped feeling like a good fit. A space that valued me regardless of how I identify or label myself.
There's no reason why spaces like that can't be created. I'm not the type to organize spaces but I'd be willing to share my insights and perspectives with anyone who wanted to create non-ideological trans-friendly resources for people who detransition/question their gender.
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