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When some detrans people talk about their time living as a trans person or transitioning, it reminds me of my time spent detransitioning, especially at the end when it started feeling increasingly wrong.
They talk about how their transition caused them more stress, felt inauthentic, like they were trying to be something they could never be, lead them to get more dysphoric or obsessed with gender, like they had to put so much work into being trans and it wasn't worth it.
That's what living as a woman ended up feeling like for me. Too much work for something that felt wrong and unreal and that made me obsess about gender amd dysphoria. My head is a lot calmer now that I've accepted that I'm trans.
I don't have to exert any effort to be trans, I can just exist as a trans person. I have to do way, way more work if I try not being trans or try to make my trans self fit into womanhood. Trans is what I am if I let myself just be.
I can imagine a detrans person experiencing being trans the same way that I experienced trying to live as a woman, as a burden, a performance, not worth the effort. So maybe my detransition helps me understand detrans people afterall but not in the way you might think.
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