Ky Schevers

In both cases, people are trying to fit inside a belief system that resonates with them, speaks to some deep need they have, but won't accept them as they are, so they try to change themselves to reconcile with that worldview.

There were parts of radical and lesbian feminism that I found very meaningful and inspiring as someone who has been hurt by patriarchy and lesbophobia. Some really awesome radical culture and thought came out of those movements.

Unfortunately, radical feminism also produced a lot of transphobic bullshit. It took me years to realize that I could take what was healing and useful from radical feminism without sacrificing any part of myself, that being trans in no way compromised my feminism.

Simiarly, both ex-gay amd detrans people are often trauma survivors who've been convinced that trauma made them gay/trans, so they need to overcome that in order to heal. The ideology plays on the feeling of being broken that many survivors have.

I used to always dismiss people when they compared being detrans to being ex-gay. What the hell were they talking about? I was a butch dyke! And then I came across the story of a gay conversion therapy survivor and it really resonated with me.

He was a CSA survivor who'd been convinced that the abuse had made him gay. He had been acting out self-destructively and was desperate for relief. Hearing his story made me see how a survivor could be lead to link being hurt by trauma with being gay or trans.

Something clicked inside of me when I heard this man's story and it scared the shit out of me. I was still deep in the detrans scene, dating another detrans rad fem. I told no one about what this story stirred up in me, not even my partner.

I started reading more about conversion therapy and the ex-gay movement and I started seeing more and more parallels btwn them and detransition. Meanwhile, I was trying my hardest to live as a woman while no longer feeling like one. I wasn't ready to know what I was figuring out.