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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
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  2. French mum with 6yo daughter teaching english words: Mum: “Cheveux?” Kid: “Hair.” Mum: “Voiture?” Kid: “Car.” Mum: “Téléphone?” Kid: “iPhone.”

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  3. "Hey man pick up your dog's shit.” "I’M GETTING A BAG FROM ACROSS THE STREET! ARE YOU MY FATHER? FUCK YOU!!!”

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  4. Girl with a cold: "It would be amazing to be quarantined... You don't have to talk to ANYONE for like a week."

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  5. "Is she lost or just a renaissance woman?"

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  6. * Woman struggling to fit all her stuff into her bins for TSA screening TSA Agent: “Damn girl, have you never played a game of Tetris in your life??”

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  7. Father: “You have two choices: I unlock this phone and find out you been texting these little boys that like you or I toss this phone out the bus window.” 8 yr old daughter: “Okay... just toss it.”

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  8. “We went to Morongo on the way to Joshua Tree and all lost $100 each.” “I’m sorry to hear that...” “You were fucking there bro...”

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    LA Super Bowl parties always have some actor lying and saying “I was up for that” during what’s clearly a celebrity-based commercial.

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  10. Best coffee in LA? Go.

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  11. “Who’s playing in the super bowl today?” “J Lo and Shakira.”

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  12. “What’s the difference between being a swinger and being poly?” “Polyamorous people are hot.”

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  13. "Yeah, it was actually easier to park in Los Feliz and uber to and from our apartment than try to find parking in K town.”

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  14. "God I hate 'bikini bloggers'. But also, if I was hot I would totally let Revolve fly me to Tulum to take pics of smoothies for $15K a post."

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  15. “She’s calmed down since she got a boyfriend.” “Oh really? She got a boyfriend?” “Well she was hooking up with this guy for like three or four years and finally he was like, Ok I’ll date you.”

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  16. *Yoga students go into headstand, one accidentally kicks the clock off the wall Yoga teacher: “It’s okay, time is an illusion.”

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  17. “Wow your dog has gotten so big!” “Ma’am, have you not noticed I’m a dog walker? This is a Great Dane and last week I literally had a Maltese.”

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  18. Guy: “Is anyone sitting here?” Woman at table: “No, it’s all yours.” *Guy puts tea and food down and sits. * Woman starts coughing Guy, getting up: “CoroNO Thank you.”

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  19. Guy talking on AirPods: “Fuck it, I’ll close at 5%. Need a liquidity right now, my daughter went to 15 rehabs last year.”

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  20. *Guy staring at random girls phone Girl: “Why are you looking at my phone?” Guy: “If I have to hear your music through your headphones I should be able to look at your phone.”

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  21. "On the flight from Denver to LAX, I sat next to a woman who went through her selfies the entire time and honestly - she inspired me.”

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