Bryan Miller

@realbryanmiller

Writes jokes & scary stories. Seen on the CBS Late Late Show, read at Intrinsick Mag, heard on Drabblecast, Doug Loves Movies winner. .

Minneapolis
Vrijeme pridruživanja: listopad 2010.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    10. lip 2017.

    All the other Batmen should go to Adam West's funeral, like when a former president dies.

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  2. prije 3 sata

    I’m at tonight and tomorrow with my guys and working on a big chunk of my new hour. Maybe the weekend too, schedule pending, but why risk it?

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  3. prije 7 sati

    Especially fun show today with the Wednesday crew.

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 17 sati

    I will not rest until every hour of every day is spent listening to podcasts from NPR and the New York Times (so I better understand rural voters)

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  5. prije 22 sata

    Was onstage during the State of the Union. Based on my Twitter it was either a trash truck trainwreck, or based on the promoted teeets, the Gettysburg Address.

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  6. prije 22 sata
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  7. 4. velj

    On the other hand, our caucus went smoothly and the unified electorate chose unanimously to elect as the featured comic at tonight’s Red Menace Comedy at Devil’s Advocate. Open signup at 8, show at 9.

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  8. 3. velj

    Whoa, ! Great surprise.

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  9. 3. velj

    Suspiria sequel!

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  10. 3. velj

    Your Dead Mother Lives In Our Surveillance Machine —Google

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  11. 3. velj

    GET OUTTA MY FACE TOM BRADY NOT TODAY

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  12. 3. velj

    The Masked Singer Finale: Pigeon takes off its head to reveal Lance Bass. Lance Bass takes off his head to reveal actual pigeon. Ken Jeong spontaneously bursts into flames.

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  13. 2. velj

    And now, to toss the ceremonial coin, several war heroes whose social security benefits we plan on gutting!

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  14. 2. velj

    Sun bleaches the radiation-scorched earth. Toxins clot the birdless sky. Starving cockroaches cannibalize each other in the shade of a cowskull. Beneath the cracked-clay dirt, an email inbox chimes. “Two weeks left to register for the prelim round of the World Series of Comedy!”

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  15. 2. velj

    This is so true. “Harker! I need you to make a perilous, months-long journey so an old man can sign a paper and mail some boxes of dirt!”

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  16. 1. velj

    Cool it, Redcoats, I’ll decide how many more times I sleep before the Super Bowl.

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    20. sij

    *in my head, in Rob Zombie voice, just now searching drawer while blackening tuna* Dig through the dishes To cook all the fishes I’ll flip with the back of my SPAT-U-LA

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  18. 1. velj

    I have to report for jury duty this month and if they make me get on a trial so help me I will bring huge Jude Law in The New Pope energy and make it weird for everyone.

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  19. 1. velj

    Hey , love the Paperbacks From Hell stamp on the envelope. Looking forward to finally reading this after years out of print. Nice done, .

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  20. 1. velj

    Hey is at tonight and Saturday at 8. You should go! Right now! Or tomorrow, but why wait?

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  21. 31. sij

    *waits* *waits* *waits* *waits* *waits* *waits* *waits* *tweet gets tenth ❤️* (grinning) *posts link to Soundcloud*

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