Bryan Miller

@realbryanmiller

Writes jokes & scary stories. Seen on the CBS Late Late Show, read at Intrinsick Mag, heard on Drabblecast, Doug Loves Movies winner. .

Minneapolis
youtube.com/user/bmillerco…
Joined October 2010
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  1. Pinned Tweet
    10 Jun 2017

    All the other Batmen should go to Adam West's funeral, like when a former president dies.

    656 replies 28,121 retweets 84,022 likes
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  2. 8 hours ago

    My ol’ college roomie pretty much explains the online music business here.

    Replying to @realbryanmiller
    Spotify CEO: "I am paying slivers of pennies to you ungrateful musicians. The money is there if you crank out the songs like sausage. It's not my fault you're poor. It's your fault you're lazy. Now, make me content and maybe I'll let you smell this box full of whole coins."
    3 likes
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  3. 9 hours ago

    Host, a film set entirely on Zoom & available on , reminds why horror is always relevant. Yeah, it’s pulpy and grimy, but it’s also fleet and adaptable and pressed right up against the vein.

    1 retweet 3 likes
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  4. 9 hours ago

    This bullshit brought to you by the same people who call everything “Content.”

    Spotify CEO: "You can’t record music once every three to four years and think that’s going to be enough." More:
    1 reply 14 likes
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  5. 11 hours ago

    Tonight’s double feature: Dazed and Confused (1993) Basically every famous actor between age 18-25 that year Host (2020) Horror movie shot entirely on Zoom

    4 likes
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  6. 11 hours ago

    Last night’s double feature: Black Legion (1946) Humphrey Bogart Tree of Life (2011) Brad Pitt, Jessica Chastain, Sean Penn

    1 like
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  7. 18 hours ago

    There’s no crying in baseball! There is, however, a significant risk of vascular and respiratory damage.

    1 retweet 22 likes
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  8. Jul 30

    Man, is such a pro. Even though I expect it I’m still always totally knocked out.

    2 replies 13 likes
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  9. Jul 30

    Doing a corporate show over Zoom taped in a TV studio following a musical act and I’m really looking forward to it because 2020 has changed us all.

    1 reply 12 likes
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  10. Jul 30

    Jam-packed MinneSorta episode this week talking maskless Minnesotans & the ID of the Umbrella Man at the protests. Plus ’s amazing conspiracy confession. Also, aliens? It’s a podcast mostly about MN, but a little bit about the galaxy.

    1 retweet
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  11. Jul 30

    Republicans acting like they wouldn’t be shit-talking & dancing in the streets if John Kerry died from overtaxation.

    2 retweets 8 likes
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  12. Retweeted
    Jul 30

    They say you should write yourself a check for $1 million as a way to manifest financial success. So I started writing 2019 on all my checks again.

    1 retweet 16 likes
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  13. Jul 29

    MacGuyver: I can use the string from this tennis racket to make a magnetic grappling hook from my belt buckle & watch battery & get us to safety! Anti-maskers: It is my god-given right to die in this burning nuclear silo.

    4 likes
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  14. Jul 29

    PS Wear a mask!

    1 like
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  15. Jul 29

    I don’t wanna give right wing nutjobs any good ideas, but come on how is nobody referring to mandatory mask enforcers as the Secrete Police?

    1 reply 2 likes
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  16. Jul 29

    Fun show with an ace Gelfand appearance as per usual, and Bob and I talk about the underrated virtues of wearing a mask.

    KQ Morning Show legend Mike Gelfand muses on whether baseball will finish its already abbreviated season. Also, , and .
    Show this thread
    1 retweet 1 like
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  17. Jul 28

    I went with a big group of kids to the theater that night and us older ones went to Uncle Buck (five stars out of four!) and the younger ones saw this. When the theater doors opened they all came out bawling and one kid absolutely screamed, “The doggie died!”

    Turner & Hooch opened in theaters on this day in 1989.
    1 reply 3 likes
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  18. Retweeted
    Jul 28

    How about this. You get to keep saying “I’m not gonna let fear change the way I live” about masks if once a year I get to hide a cobra in your house but you don’t know where it’s hidden or on what day.

    7 replies 26 retweets 181 likes
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  19. Jul 27

    There’s only slightly less action watching baseball players quarantine than watching them play baseball.

    1 retweet 9 likes
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  20. Jul 27

    A friendly reminder to sanitize your snakes between handlings.

    2 likes
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  21. Jul 26

    Tonight’s double feature: Witness for the Prosecution (1957) Marlene Dietrich, Charles Laughton, Tyrone Power One Upon A Time...in Hollywood (2019) Rick & Cliff

    1 reply 8 likes
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