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twenty8tweem Retweeted
I’m going to be a huge bitch in 2019
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twenty8tweem Retweeted
this friday is the least friday-est feeling friday in a minute
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Just realized I accidentally joined a low key sorority type situation. Only half mad about it.pic.twitter.com/VciXDhKC25
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twenty8tweem Retweeted
Hey, I appreciate my famous friends posting about
#GiggleFit but I kinda need all my friends posting about it. No matter how many followers you have. Tonight is the night 11pm@ComedyCentral you can be Russian bots for a good cause instead of elections or birdbox.pic.twitter.com/NXoOUyiNyx
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twenty8tweem Retweeted
Don't make fun of hair band ballads. Those songs are the reason some of you are here.
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I've been team Dunkleman since season one of AI (never forget!) and there's absolutely zero shame whatsoever in taking care of your own health and family.https://twitter.com/briandunkleman/status/1080996041044877313 …
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twenty8tweem Retweeted
I think this might be the greatest show poster in the history of comedy, and I’m not even joking.
@joannlizabethpic.twitter.com/LwnMivaFAp
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Get you a man who can move his hips. Just look at all of that low back mobility damn.https://twitter.com/_jmlopez_/status/1080489556074467329 …
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twenty8tweem Retweeted
I told my homegirl “I attract fuck boys” She was like “you’re a woman, a pretty woman, you attract everyone. Then, you chose fuck boys” I damn near jumped out the car
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twenty8tweem Retweeted
sometimes i wait for my friends to fall asleep so i can eat their sleep spiders for them :)
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twenty8tweem Retweeted
Magic Eye books taught me to disassociate
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twenty8tweem Retweeted
me: new year new me boss: that doesn't even come close to explaining why your email signature just says "eat my entire ass"
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Been eatin’ vegetarian nuggets all week and just realized they got all kinds of dairy ingredients
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American Circumcision on Netflix is insane, powerful, illuminating and everyone needs to watch it.
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twenty8tweem Retweeted
Being blunt ≠ being mean. A lot of y’all don’t seem to understand that. You think people are mad because you told the truth, but in reality they’re upset because you demean them under the guise of “honesty.”
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twenty8tweem Retweeted
Words you should use more of in 2019: • cattywampus • humdinger • bunghole • ruckus • cockamamie • grody • malarkey • doozy • asshat • jeepers • buttever • smidge • nincompoop • numbnuts • skedaddle • shwing • dagnabbit • snackages • willy nilly • fuckface
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twenty8tweem Retweeted
This year I'm going to be more of the kind of God that you deserve. Yes, that's a threat.
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I'm starting to realize how big of a mistake it was to chug coffee and half & half all weekend.pic.twitter.com/LDTgRBLQ30
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