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Every single new fish they find is gross. Why are we still looking for more? ALL THE GOOD FISH LIVE NEAR THE TOP. Give it up, idiots.
53 retweets 119 favourites
What's the new Star Wars trailer is darth vader stuck in an elevator with Solange? Haha
2 retweets 9 favouritesBeen waiting all day to see if I got any new followers before I get mad at @aedison for using my life in her tab #averybadtabsintern
I hope I never get on a jury, because I just know that regardless of details, I’m going to try and 12 Angry Men the situation.
3 favouritesBook me, celebrity impersonator, at your next corporate retreat! I do Joanna Newsom covering Hit Me Baby One More Time. End of list.
6 favouritesI just need to say that I think about K. Stewart's "I love him I love him I'm so sorry" press release almost every day ok ty good morning
1 favouriteIf the new Sufjan is bumming you out, try writing a 20-page paper on Epicurus and death while listening. I am feeling *chill* rn
2 favouritesPigs, you need to be slightly more smart or slightly less delicious. Until then, my hypothetical-vegetarianism is on you, not me.
8 favouritesA painting of a bowl of fruit is kind-of art. Add a skull in there, it's actual art. Paint it on a ceiling, and you've made some ART art.
14 retweets 19 favouritesMorning: Adam Baldwin, about to say something, changes his mind. Evening: He self-flagellates for not respecting his right to free-speech.
1 retweet 6 favouritesA real fun part of my job is having to weigh how poor I am against how hard it will be to understand "Combretastatin A-4 linked to BODIPY".
1 retweet 5 favourites"Dammit, I wish I could follow her on Twitter, but her Twitter sucks."
1 retweet 7 favouritesBest I've come up with so far is "Shannen Doherty a few years into her drug-induced decline, but with heavier bangs."
5 favouritesATTN NYC Twitter: My dumb friend insists on going to her dumb job so please invite me to things. I’m NOT fun but I WILL treat.
2 favouritesA short list of things I probably shouldn’t have said to the border guard: “No, freelance.” “Legit, buddy.” “…Twitter?” “Netflix for Books”
2 retweets 10 favouritesI’m starting to have a real Stockholm Syndrome reaction to the Buffalo bus station.
1 favouriteDo you think Jeff Richmond is cool with being the Leslie Mann of the composing world?
2 favourites
associate editor @tnr // 
╭╮ no garbage allowed in this witch house ╭╮ // [bstephen@tnr.com]
REASONABLE: A client worrying he's paying a scammer instead of a real essay writer. UNREASONABLE: Asking to Skype to "check that I'm white".
7 retweets 15 favouritesTwitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup.
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