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  1. Mar 3

    If you think your kids were messy teeth brushers before, wait until you give them their first electric toothbrush

  2. Retweeted
    Feb 7

    What I said: GET IN THE CAR, WE'RE LATE! What my kids hear: Start looking for a toy that was lost 5 years ago.

  3. Retweeted
    Feb 4

    Can you teach me how to tie my shoes? -My kids, two minutes before we have to be anywhere

  4. Retweeted
    Jan 25

    "And just like that, my 5 year old is an OIT peanut graduate!" for peanut & food allergies

  5. Retweeted
    Jan 17

    - 1 cashew & 7 peanuts. "It hasn't always been easy but we have come so far & changed our lives forever."

  6. Jan 16

    Wait, how come in my ongoing dog search no one told me I could ????

  7. Retweeted
    Jan 9
  8. Jan 6

    Why am I crying????

  9. Retweeted
    Jan 5

    23 Moments That You'll Look Back On and Laugh via

  10. 19 Dec 2016

    *Makes 50 item to-do list, phone rings* Me: Hello? Caller: Hello, this is the school nurse.... *Throws list in trash, grabs another coffee*

  11. Retweeted
    12 Dec 2016

    If people really liked eggnog wouldn't the stores stock it all year long?

  12. 12 Dec 2016

    I love listening to my kids argue about which Justin is more famous, Bieber or Timberlake. -Said no parent ever Also I'm

  13. 8 Dec 2016

    My 5 yr old son now "dabs" to cover his mouth every time he sneezes. He thinks that is what everyone else is doing too.

  14. Retweeted
    8 Dec 2016

    Well goddammit, giraffes may be going extinct.

  15. 8 Dec 2016
  16. 7 Dec 2016

    Have your kids do the dishes, they said. It'll be good for them, they said. Hey "they," you owe me a new set of dishes.

  17. Retweeted
    30 Nov 2016

    It's the most powerful thing you can say to another mom . . .

  18. Retweeted
    25 Nov 2016

    We love and , but they're 2 of the stores we'd rather not visit w/ our kids

  19. Retweeted
    23 Nov 2016

    The gross side of parenthood. 9 simply nasty childhood ailments:

  20. Retweeted
    16 Nov 2016

    It's never too early to teach our children where books can take them.

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