Homoerotic string theoretician

I've never been a religious nor spiritual person; the closest I ever got was when I attended a protestant prayer group for a couple of years

Someone whom I've been seeing for help suggested that I go to this last night and at first I was both skeptical and petrified.

I decided that I need to stop avoiding unfamiliar spaces and start trusting people more... and so I went.

It was one of the most intense experiences I've ever had with a group of people, none of whom I had ever met before.

I don't think I'll ever practice Tantra or any other spiritualism... but I don't think any devout faith was required for this ritual.

I don't think I've ever exposed as much of myself... my wounds, my demons, my fears, my desires... as I did last night.

I won't describe specifics; I'll just say that although there are things I've confronted privately, I've not shared most of them with others

I certainly have much more to work through... but I was a different person when I returned home.

It was humbling, painful, and profound... I was so exhausted that when I got up this morning I felt like I had run ten miles yesterday.

But it wasn't just about unloading... I think the most rewarding part of last night was receiving... and just listening.

Just focusing on their eyes & letting them pour out their soul... and absorbing their pain... I don't think I've ever felt more privileged.

There was a point when I couldn't hear what the other person was saying... and I was at first tempted to ask them to repeat themselves...

... but I didn't... because it didn't matter what they said... it only mattered that they trusted me to simply listen and bear witness.

I still have much work to do... I need to start leaving certain things behind... and I need to start forgiving myself.

I am so intensely shy; simply arriving there last night, and fearing what I was getting myself into, was enough to make me start crying.

Perhaps, I am finally starting on a new leg of my journey...

Thank you for sharing, Danielle.