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Hello? let’s go viral
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Imagining Jessica Alba in a pair of uggs
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Going viral is easy I just gotta tweet a white woman’s name
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I can always tell I have a bunch of new followers when my replies are like “can someone explain if she’s joking?” No. Get out of here
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I need Anne Hathaway to know that I loved her the whole time. not once did I stray from loving her. my love for her never wavered. all these other wishy washy bitches clock in and out but I’ve been here on call for her
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raina Retweeted
This is crazy. She just voice memoed me saying her movies are for girls and called me “flat Stanley’s cousin” ???
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joe Biden keeps trying to contact me to make me the united states poet laureate but I keep missing his calls because I’m too busy lying on twitter
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raina Retweeted
Greta gerwig when she sees big naturals :( https://twitter.com/quakerraina/status/1527078986404093952 …pic.twitter.com/bnqT7HlVYu
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This how I know a tweet is a hithttps://twitter.com/raiderantonioj/status/1527079212107960320 …
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Greta gerwig randomly emailed my agents and said my breasts are “too big and bouncy” to be in her Barbie movie. The worst part is I hadn’t even auditioned :(
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You can’t hurt me. The laser hair removal nurse said I have a “crazy high pain tolerance” and that I’m “freaking” her “out”
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She ate this UP omg i believe every wordhttps://twitter.com/CasaDupre/status/1526666479273447431 …
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Some of the most perfect simple written comedy I’ve ever encounteredpic.twitter.com/K9r8FjQHBD
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Doja cat is just like me (hates bras, just wears bikini tops every day)
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Thank god I wore my shorts today I almost forgot to respect a black womanhttps://twitter.com/Prodikal_son/status/1524833523252740096 …
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Some people might not understand this if they’ve never lived the hammock lifestyle :(
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When a pelican fills that big beak bag up with water? I would personally love to know what that feels like
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Don’t even get me started on a bunch of guys banging on a bunch of big drums
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Every culture on earth agrees: we love it when there’s one guy banging on a big drum
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