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If you've only been running for a week, a 51-minute outage brings you down to less than 99.5% uptime. But if you've been running for an otherwise uninterrupted year, you're still over four nines. That's why my new startup is selling Retroactive Uptime As A Service
We have "farms" of millions of minuscule, robust, no-op "services". They work perfectly, they do nothing but respond to ping. Many of them have been running for more than five years with zero or negligible downtime
For a fee, you take over one of the services, rebadge it, rename it, turn it into whatever you want/whatever you just developed. Instant free SLA buffer
Fees vary depending on the age and historical integrity of the service you buy. Services less than one year old aren't for sale (still "maturing")
Same idea but it's private companies in the nineteenth century and it's so that in the present day you can just buy an impressively old "Established" year
Shutting down your service, but still have good stats? Sell the uptime to us
Gold-level customers, who are able to cover the cost of legal and technical shenanigans, have the option to purchase one of a small number of running processes from an old IBM mainframe we acquired which hasn't been IPLed since the 1990s
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