quarantine 'em

Exactly one person could have shot Mr. Burns. The evidence adds up. In particular, the prime suspects, Homer and Smithers, can both be ruled out very easily

Burns recognises and greets his assailant, "Oh, it's you...", whereas the entire episode has carefully set up that Burns does not know or recognise Homer Simpson, despite the many times they have met

* Burns is shot at 3pm (he mentions the time in dialogue and then a bell is heard tolling) * Smithers says "I never miss 'Pardon My Zinger'" * A television ad in Moe's earlier in the episode indicates that this show airs at 3pm * Cast-iron alibi

These observations rule out the two primary suspects. So who did do it?

* During the town hall meeting, Burns shows that he is carrying a gun to protect himself. * But when he collapses, for one frame it can be seen that his shoulder holster is empty. * Burns has lost his weapon and was most probably shot with it.

(Several of the suspects did not have access to a firearm. Unfortunately, this clue places them back under suspicion.)

Burns collapses with his hands pointing to the letters W and S on the town sundial. This suggests that the assailant had the initials M. S., S. M., S. W. or W. S..

(Analogue clocks set to 3 o'clock and 9 o'clock throughout the episode have been training us to think about looking at the sundial upside-down.)

It is possible that "S. W." indicates "Smith & Wesson", Grampa's gun which is seen earlier, and to which numerous characters have access - but only one shot was heard, and we already ruled this firearm out, above.

At this point in The Simpsons' run, there are several characters who definitely had these initials (and who appeared in this episode): * Waylon Smithers * Marge Simpson * Moe Szyslak (his surname was revealed for the first time in this episode) * ...

* Principal W. Seymour Skinner (first initial revealed for the first and only time in this episode) * Sideshow Mel * Santa's Little Helper (whom Burns refers to as "Simpson mutt" earlier in the episode) * Maggie Simpson

Still with me here? * Smithers has a cast-iron alibi - he was watching "Pardon My Zinger" at 3pm * Marge is on camera at the time of the shooting. This is enough for us as viewers * Sideshow Mel's weapon of choice is a flick-knife, which potentially rules him out as a shooter

Now let's re-examine the town hall seen. "Oh, you all talk big," Burns says, "but who here has the guts to stop me?"

So. If we've settled on Burns being shot with his own weapon, the "I think you'd better drop it..." dialogue is puzzling. What, if not a gun, was the assailant carrying, and why did Burns want them to drop it?

Earlier in the episode we saw Burns express his love for taking candy from a baby. Maggie's a baby, she must have had candy. The pieces fit!

Several insane wildcard theories also made the rounds, most memorably the "Superdude theory" which suggests that Burns was somehow shot by the Springfield Elementary hamster who is found dead at the beginning of the episode

This mystery was so good that in Fox's contest to identify the shooter, out of the 1000 randomly-chosen entries from which the winner was to be picked, *none* of them had correctly named Maggie

You couldn't pull it off these days. Not a chance in h*ck