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it existed for like fifteen minutes between Orkut but before Google+, and had the wildest features like your profile image had to be smiling. "No, wider," it would say. Sometimes it would just accept a frowning image and modify it to be smiling
Sometimes it would fill in personal details automatically? Hair colour, occupation. The weirdest one was date of birth because it was always really close to being accurate, but off by a few days
and suggest familial relationships with other users you'd never heard of before. "We think this person: <some dark indistinct apparition> is your father"
they did this thing where if you gave it access to your emails it would scan them and figure out which of your contacts had died, and then silently create profiles for them these were people who died before Google People launched?? And they'd show up in searches
nobody ever figured the follower system out. you couldn't "follow" other people, but apparently other people could "watch" you? but nobody ever found the "watch" button
everybody had like a dozen people "watching" them, all complete strangers with huge grinning profile pictures. There was always this one guy with the WEIRDEST face After a while I realised that people were just using that face as their profile picture, like an in-joke
Google People would constantly highlight blank areas on your photos like there was a person there and say "Someone you know?"
they shut it down after like six months and the reason was something like they had "found Them"
it made all these bizarre choices which I didn't even pick up on until later. I don't generally use emoji so it took me about two months to realise that nobody ever used a smiling emoji. because it didn't have a smiling emoji sad, tearful, angry, etc., not one smiling face
a while after "guessing" your birth date it would "guess" your death date, which was a bit wild, but after comparing notes we worked out that for most people it was just guessing the same date, or a few weeks or months after
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