Ryan

i am a sick puppy *throws up and whines*

googled how to change the quality of netflix and it immediately changed to a better quality. that's right u ass

listen if i get the iPod 6 and the camera DOESNT go "shapow!" then im gonna be pissed

@OFoolsGold hm

@OFoolsGold i didnt know u had a kitty

@OFoolsGold like not immediately but they know what they did

how do other people use twitter. i dont think im doing it right. hello momther

we've cum full circle

take pics of your tiny dick locket and upload it to tumblr "here's how big it is"

i dont want them to see my dick tweets

nope! just a tiny heart shaped picture of my penis inside a gold plated sterling silver locket i bought at jc p e n n e y for 20 dollars

like put a rock in there for good measure so they think it's heavy

imagine putting the dick locket in a box inside a box inside a box inside a box and then wrapping it and giving it to your SO for xmas

you broke my heart so i smashed the dick locket with a hammer because im not legally allowed to smash your actual dick with a hammer

like... because this penis locket will be close to your heart i guess

i got you a matching one with a picture of mine. now whenever u feel fucked u will know who to blame

babe i put that picture of your hot rod in this locket

im gonna snap a polaroid of your dong so i can keep it at my wallet and look at it at work on the toilet

baby im gonna gaze at your penis for hours today get ready

besides dicks are for playing with not for looking at anyway. "mm baby i want to look at your dick all day long"