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except for families in poverty, people who “neglect themselves to take care of others” tend to have boundary, communication, and listening problems.
instead of projecting your idea of care and love onto someone ask them how the’d like to be cares for. it could be far less tiresome than what you’re used to performing. don’t hold expectations you don’t need & remember! loving someone would never mean choosing to harm yourself.
it's can also be an ego boost for some ppl that's more about feeling useful and needed by someone "helpless" in their eyes than genuine selflessness
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