“what’s going on with you” “anything new happen?” “how have you been getting along lately?” and [asking person about a situation they last told you about] are better, more open substitutes. they provide similar answers but aren’t their tired, triggering counterparts!https://twitter.com/punkpraxis/status/1328744290550501378 …
some people prefer listening so maybe try answering these questions to start and then ask “what about you”. my best tip next to asking better versions of these tired openers is don’t ask unless you care about the answer and have the time + space to hear it.