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tbh it doesn’t matter what you want your partner to look like. that’s your business. nobody “needs” to know. just know that when you say you want someone to be gender confirming you only add to the gendered status quo that ends up being violent against gender nonconforming folks
it’s not productive to police what people like because y’all will choose what you want anyway. just be aware that your desires don’t exist in a vacuum. also realize that some things should be kept to yourself because they have weight and power that harms marginalized folks
who you like isn’t innate or random. desires are tangled up in the gender binary forced onto us all unless you make moves to intentionally break it. if you defend what you like too hard then deep down inside you know those standards are arbitrary & your investment is problematic
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