Maybe: Parker

@pt

I like to rhyme. I like my beats funky. I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy.

Joined October 2007

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    27 Jun 2018

    When I was a kid I used to open the fridge, find nothing I wanted, wander around the kitchen a bit, then repeat. I feel like my life hasn't changed much, except now Twitter is my fridge.

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  2. 8 hours ago

    According to my internet browsing habits I am an old soul.

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  3. Jan 3

    Sometimes I think I could have a decent career designing emo indie rock album covers. cc

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  4. Jan 3

    No online lap baby check-in is the only 👎🏻 about . Don’t @ me.

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  5. Jan 3

    TFW you’re 45 minutes into a line full of screaming kids & barking dogs, & realize the 50% of the line w/o small animals is carrying guns. 😬

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  6. 27 Dec 2018

    All I know is, if you’re not bringing a lawyer and a licensing agreement when you go to get your tats, you’re a damned fool.

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  7. 27 Dec 2018

    Taking recommendations for best album of 2018. Strong bias against bands with terrible names (sorry, Car Seat Headrest fans).

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  8. Retweeted
    26 Dec 2018

    While I agree with this in general that programming in general is lucrative, there are 5 people RT'ing this in my feed and 3 of them are VCs and 2 of them are PMs; none of them actively coding day to day, at least anymore.

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  9. 27 Dec 2018

    I feel like folks in the “crypto industry” who want to distinguish between their reputable illegal securities & other disreputable illegal securities are missing the point. One enables the other. Lock. Them. All. Up.

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  10. Retweeted

    At dawn, sunlight crept in through the cracks in the blinds and under the door. "Mama, turn off lights," complained my toddler son. When I didn't fulfill this request, he escalated: "Hi Google, turn off lights." Unfortunately for him, Google doesn't yet control the sun.

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  11. 27 Dec 2018

    I’m kinda shocked we’ve received no hate mail yet on this. The holidays really mellow people!

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  12. 27 Dec 2018

    Once my daycare hired a musician that played the kids a song you definitely wouldn’t approve of. I paid the daycare bill. I didn’t ask about musicians or set lists. I am truly sorry.

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  13. 26 Dec 2018
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  14. 26 Dec 2018

    What have you don’t except complain about the green bubbles?

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  15. Retweeted

    Test your ability to classify 10 news statements as either factual or opinion. Then see how you did in comparison with a nationally representative group of 5,035 randomly selected U.S. adults surveyed online

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  16. 26 Dec 2018

    The irony being, anybody who needs that kind of money to ship the v1 of an app (feel free to use fancier words) has a terrible software team. ICOs were always crimes of opportunity, not necessity.

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  17. 26 Dec 2018

    Percentage of people who want Top 50 lists to start at number fifty: 0%. Percentage of Top 50 lists that start at number fifty: 100%.

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  18. 25 Dec 2018

    If you are looking to mix it up this Christmas, replace your standard mashed potatoes with Aunt Kaye’s Mashed Potato Casserole and become a legend within your clan.

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  19. 25 Dec 2018

    Matching kid/parent shirts, a fun gift for the whole fam, and also the stuff that pictures your kids will hate in high school are made of.

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  20. 24 Dec 2018

    An unexpected Christmas Eve delivery. A kickstarter miracle even!

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  21. 24 Dec 2018

    Always dump the controversial stuff on a holiday eve.

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