I went to a restaurant (alone) and the staff showed me to a table right in the middle of the room. My seat was facing the direction of where the waiting staff wait. I started reading. 95 minutes later, they brought me the menu. This is a record for me, at least.
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Holy cow, that's a damn big menu. Or maybe you're a very meticulous reader. Why would you read it for 95 minutes? Maybe we need people who would record reading of restaurant menus on YouTube, so we can watch them in 2x. See? Any problem can be solved with technology.
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