I went to a restaurant (alone) and the staff showed me to a table right in the middle of the room. My seat was facing the direction of where the waiting staff wait. I started reading. 95 minutes later, they brought me the menu. This is a record for me, at least.
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You‘re the most British person I‘ve ever encountered.
To be fair, I was quite happy reading. I hope the staff know this and don't feel bad.
