Jon Pretty

i seriously think when A bullies B, B reaching out to A is different than A reaching out to B. I don't see how that couldn't be the case. That would require some real mental gymnastics.

Here's the gymnastics: in the sorts of situations I'm describing, including @fpmortals's, notably the previous time @fpmortals got banned, about half the people thought he was trolling, and half the people sided with the moderator. That makes it unclear who is A and who is B.

Except, in that one party had the power to ban in one forum, but no power to in other forums.

@propensive your stamina for this conversation is admirable.

Wow, I'm impressed anyone else kept reading long enough to realise... but in all seriousness, I don't want to be lazy with a conversation someone else is passionate about.

did any of the aggrieved people or moderators express regret or remorse? sometimes a "oh shiz, sorry about that. what i meant was..." can be very powerful, instead of this escalation. (which i think is related to jon's point about people talking together)

That's the kind of moderator attitude that usually gets me to leave a forum proactively :/. It's amusing that the last sentence parses as "reasonable people... are more than welcome to leave".