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  1. May 31

    I like over-tipping incompetent teenagers, because they remind me of myself

  2. Retweeted
    May 30
  3. May 30

    Hi Twitter, I hope you had fun last night. Have some Advil and drink water. There's coffee and eggs for you in the kitchen. Love, Paul

  4. May 29
  5. May 28
  6. May 27

    The New Yorker: A Few Simple Tips for Curly-Hair Care.

  7. Retweeted
    May 26

    Eggs need spacesuits too! :O

  8. May 26
  9. May 26

    baby jack black / young jack black / stage jack black

  10. May 25

    Eco-terrorist chic

  11. May 25

    I've always wanted to say 'don't @ me' but no one @'s me anyways 😭

  12. Retweeted
    May 20

    A tiny warthog cools off in a puddle

  13. May 20

    Julian Assange looks like a Fredo character in the Witcher

  14. May 19

    Put Mr Rodgers on the $50 bill 💵💸

  15. May 14

    "great artists steal" - me, while threatening to steal things

  16. May 8

    On second thought, don't call me Ishmael. Call me Vegas

  17. May 7
  18. Retweeted
    May 5

    The "Nintendo PlayStation" is now fully operational, thanks to hardware modder Ben Heck:

  19. May 4

    politics is *literally* the worst

  20. Apr 27

    I love the gerudo nice guy/neckbeard character in breath of the wild. That must mean there are people like that in Japan! 🙊

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