rofessor Kiosk  

@professorkiosk

You are objectively terrible and nothing will change that 👉 Twitter Tutorials ⬇️

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Vrijeme pridruživanja: listopad 2016.
Rođen/a 14. studenoga 1980.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    Australia has 17 of the world’s most poisonous snakes, 3 fewer than the White House.

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 35 minuta

    An Aussie is Oz born, but Ozzy Osborne is not Oz born so an Aussie he is not.

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I am a: ⚪️ Man ⚪️ Woman 🔘 Dingo Looking for a: ⚪️ Man ⚪️ Woman 🔘 Baby

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 11 sati

    "Nice poetry" you say as my hopes fall like the stars around us, "sweet symbolism" you say as we careen towards a fiery otherworld and honestly? you're not wrong.

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 2 sata

    Me: what's surrounded by water, infamous for lawlessness, and full of things that could kill you Them: Australia? Me: I was gonna say Alcatraz, but I see your point

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    DC: We have an idea for a new superhero. A wealthy Australian heir with a crippling fear of wombats Me (nodding): Wombatman DC: well not exactly.... Me: Hurry! To the Wombatmobile!!!

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 3 sata

    [ visiting my Australian friend ] Him: G'day mate Me: Hey when did you install that butt sprayer in the loo? Him: Today mate Me: What's it called? Him: Bidet mate Me: What's for supper Him: Filet mate Me: How are you cooking it? Him: Saute m-- Oi, stop it ya drongo

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 3 sata

    I hate when I'm having sex and ready to cum, but have to wait until Simon says.

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 6 sati

    Let me keep sleeping when you go go.

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 6 sati

    Him: Talk dirty to me Me: I’m gonna gargle your cum like mouthwash Him: ok, wow. Me: I wanna shit on your chest while I choke you Him: fuck! Me: I actually quite like Trump Him: Wait what?! Me: I tend to agree with most of his policies Him: Get the fuck out of my house

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Life hack: if you’re being shot at, just say no. The bullets can’t legally hurt you without consent.

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 12 sati

    People are asking me how my new job is going as a furniture salesman, I keep telling them it’s good sofa.

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 22 sata

    I eat preservatives to live longer.

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Penal implants originated in Australia.

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 3 sata

    Y'all need to step up your Australia joke game if you plan on winning this thing

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  16. Australians love their beer so much they spread it on their toast.

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 4 sata

    I’ve never been to Australia but I have been down under 😘

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    I’m cheering for the mice but with such a superb owl, you have to think they don’t stand a chance

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Investor: I’m imagining 3 dolphins, running a train on each other... Sydney Opera House Architect: Say no more...

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 4 sata

    Interviewer: why should we hire you? Koala: I have the education and work experience required for the position Interviewer: are you sure you don't have all the right– Koala: say it and I will murder you

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 5 sati

    There are people that don’t have an inner monologue, and all I can think is those lucky motherfuckers.

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