Will polyamory destroy Western Civilization? Here's my new piece in @Quillette.....https://twitter.com/Quillette/status/1189108920687611907 …
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People seem to think it's a choice between rigid constraints on everyone, and no rules. But, those are the extremes. We have always had a hard time finding a balance between rigid legalism and antinomianism. We have to try to stay near center. The pendulum keeps swinging, though.
Ethical non-monogamy includes many constraints, rules, norms, form of accountability, etc. It's not the 'orgy on bath salts' that everybody seems to be imagining.
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Even orgies are nowhere near as hot as the ones in films. books or peoples fervid fantasies. It's a weird form of the grass-is-greener fallacy, but I've run into it for 40years now.
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The need to negotiate rules with your SOs is more than most straight folks bother with. One of the swing clubs in Chicago we frequented back in the 80s had an explicit rule book. I still have some copies stashed away in an old York barbell box, awaiting memoir.
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This is an area on which we differ, Sigdrifr. I am not in favor of organized sex, and never have been. The thing itself is great, but when you have to make rules, then it loses all charm (for me at least).
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