I have this weird dichotomy of 'loving' humanity, like I want the best for them and to achieve fulfillment and a lot of my goals are driven by this, but also that I don't 'like' humanity, as in I don't really want to interact with it and it makes me feel bad
This is a totally reasonable and surprisingly common attitude.
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It sounds like the definition of “sentimentality.” On the other hand, could also be analogous to preferring to speak in front of large crowds rather than to individuals or small groups.
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