The reality is that we're too rich to want to have kids when there are all kinds of fun things to do with your money and few economic or social pressures in favor of having them.
This was basically my hypothesis about the Fermi Paradox: https://www.primalpoly.com/s/2007-fermi-paradox-edge-piece.pdf …
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My hypothesis about the Fermi paradox: due to higher maintenance, longer development and better manipulation skills, the young of intelligent species are uniquely insufferable. Compared to puppies, babies are hell on Earth. 1/2 of adult life spent with offensive noise and smells
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