Geoffrey MillerVerified account

. And I find them absurd. I used to think it was an attitude only held by the religious circles I used to be in (before I became an atheist),but when I got into politics I realized there is a disturbingly sizeable population of the right who want to revive gender norms not unlike

conservative Muslims. Including women preaching it, oddly. Things like thinking women should be cooking/cleaning for a man on the second/third date, which is comical to sane people, but they truly believe it. My point is just that women don't need to do that to still embrace some

parts of gender traditionalism (if they want to) in a healthy way. I tried to use the terminology/slang of that ultra traditional online scene so they'd know what I mean. If that maybe makes more sense?

It makes sense. When I was 21, I'd have thought it amazing. Now I think differently about the whole thing. More liberally, literally.

I think of each path as carrying costs and benefits, and I see committing only to one as a strategy that forgoes certain potentially worthwhile opportunities unnecessarily, although it's wiser if you can't navigate it. I also see the plea to put value back in sex, in both sexes.

Casual sex is impossibly dangerous when emotions are deeply involved ("I Fooled Around and Fell in Love"), serious emotional bloodsport, but it can be fun recreation when they're not central to the experience (e.g., swingers). Different contexts. It's worst when ambiguous.

When I was young, it wouldn't have been possible to separate the two, and for many, it may not be (maybe more women than men, but for both). Swingers seem to possess an advantage: single people always have a hint of that ambiguity that complicates things.

The European attitude seems generally more relaxed outside of trad situations, which I view as greater maturity around the topic. North Americans are terrible for making it all taboo/magical and not talking about it openly, thus leaving ourselves childish against an adult topic.