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pptsapper's profile
Angry Staff Officer
Angry Staff Officer
Angry Staff Officer
@pptsapper

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Angry Staff Officer

@pptsapper

History person, Army officer, transplanted Buckeye. Writes stuff. Some Star Wars. One half of @warstoriescast. Views do not reflect or represent the DoD's.

The Edge of Empire
angrystaffofficer.com
Joined September 2011

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    1. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

      It's a pho and gin nightpic.twitter.com/0zpAIvgrkZ

      32 replies 14 retweets 456 likes
      Show this thread
      Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

      AWWWWW SHEEEEIIIT ya know what happened today in 17fucking76? Harry "YEAH, I've got GIRTH, Biznatch" Knox arrives in Cambridge Mass outside Boston with his NOBLE ASS TRAIN OF ARTILLLLERYYYYYYYY Oh yessss The siege of Boston bout to get LIT yalllllllllll

      6:20 PM - 24 Jan 2020
      • 31 Retweets
      • 191 Likes
      • 🇺🇸 Toysrme Hunter Massie Shao Trommashere(They/She)🏳️‍🌈❤ The COMPLETELY vaxxed Ghost of Henry Hunt Not An LT or a Tanker or XO but the Vampire Queen Twice-Vaccinated Andy Kauffman 💉💉 Sharer of scary COVID news and cat videos The Spice is Write Angry Shar-Pei
      15 replies 31 retweets 191 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          This goes out to all my Massholes out there - much love, ya wicked fuckahs Now. Let's set the mood. It's 1776. A WHOLE BRAND NEW YEAR TO KICK BRIT ASS, IS WHAT And GW is sitting outside Boston moping because while he's got the Brits trapped, he can't reach out & touch them

          6 replies 5 retweets 108 likes
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        3. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          He's Got this whole-ass army sitting at Boston but they don't have the BOOM BOOM to counter that damn Royal Navy GW, he likes big guns And he cannot lie You otha brothas can't deny, that when a gun rolls in with nice big waist and a round breech in yo face you get SPRUNG

          5 replies 3 retweets 110 likes
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        4. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          But the Patriots ain't got any BUT . Harry Knox, Washington's ol buddy ol pal and chief of the BOOM BOOM knows where to get some They is a problem tho. They're in gorram NY. And that's like... To the Moon are some shit To make it worse, they're in the hands of TWO EGOMANIACS

          2 replies 0 retweets 44 likes
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        5. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          Ok so rewiiiiiind a sec Back in May of 1775 when shit was just off the rails crazy and no one had any idea what the fuck was going on, crazy ass land pirate and theologian Ethan Allen and his family army decided to seize fort Ticonderoga on Lake Champlain whijc has like 8 dudes

          3 replies 0 retweets 49 likes
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        6. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          So Allen musters his cousins and brothers and whatever and is about to attack from Vermont when HEY PRESTO Benny arnolnd shoes up with a commission from Massachusetts & tries to pull rank in Allen, who isn't having it, cause he's a fuckin land pirate etc etc etc

          3 replies 0 retweets 45 likes
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        7. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          So Arnold, a Connecticut merchant turned soldier, and Allen, a Connecticut crazy person turned crazy person, argue about who's in charge but then agree to joint command and row across the lake in the middle of the night, surprise the Brits, take the fort Coool cool cool cool

          2 replies 0 retweets 46 likes
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        8. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          Ok so NOW the cannon need to go to Boston where the dudebros from Lexington and Concord have formed an Army of New England & are laying siege to the Brits but yeah they need guns So Arnold & Allen set aside their differences and work it ouutttt hahahahahha no they do nooooootttt

          4 replies 1 retweet 43 likes
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        9. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          They LITERALLY ARGUE ALL SUMMER like This is peak Connecticut

          4 replies 4 retweets 61 likes
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        10. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          FINALLY by November of 75 Washington is getting desperate and sends Knox's well-girthed posterior off to Lake Champlain to see what he can do Henry Knox's military experience is basically nil, he lost 2 fingers to an ND ffs He ran a bookshop Not even shitting you

          5 replies 2 retweets 52 likes
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        11. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          However, he gets there in December of 75 and presumably locks Allen and Arnold into a room where they can slap fight each other in a Connecticut manner or some shit He takes stock and holy fuck, what a lotta guns. Now A word About artillery in this uh... What century is it

          1 reply 0 retweets 41 likes
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        12. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          18TH!!! YES that one So. It's not light. Or mobile. It's heavy as fuuuuckalllllll and it's DECEMBER in upper NY/VT tho it's not VT it's claimed by nh and ny but what ever It's COLD is what I'm saying and Knox gotta get the heavy metal to Boston

          3 replies 0 retweets 41 likes
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        13. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          So, Knox, firs thing he does. Boats. He uses boats. Because water. That's where you use boats. Stands to reason and shit. He floats the guns from Lake Champlain to Lake George. All cool so far. But now he's gotta get them from here to Albany and he needs.... COWSSSS oxen really

          2 replies 1 retweet 41 likes
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        14. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          So he is running around like "yo you got cows? You got oxen? Yeah? Phil Schuyler, can I get some bovine motion up in here" and Schuyler in NY is all about it until he realizes he doesn't have any & Knox is gonna have to use horses with sleighs because OH YEA IT SNOWED

          3 replies 0 retweets 42 likes
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        15. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          Knox heads from Albany into the Berkshire mountains singing about oh what fun it is to haul a gun with a sleigh But, the thing about the Berkshires is they're MOUNTAINS I-90 AINT A THING YET childrens. It just isnt. No rest stops either. Which was a bitchhhhhhhh

          6 replies 2 retweets 56 likes
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        16. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          So he's got sleighs and horses and they tryna haul these heavy ass pieces OVAH MOUNTAINS, BUB, A WICKED PISSAH Guns fall through the ice but dudes recover them and haul the. Out. They somehow get them over the friggin mountains, which is a ballbuster

          2 replies 2 retweets 41 likes
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        17. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          Early Jan, the train gets to Westfield where Knox fires a cannon to let everyone know they work which was probably a nice moment but it was also the time all the dudes from NY were like "it's 1776, I don't know where I live anymore, can we go home?" so Knox gets MA crews

          1 reply 1 retweet 38 likes
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        18. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          These dudes haul these bigass things from Springfield to Framingham, where the crews are like "fuckit, dude, this is far as we get" Around, like, today, Knox gets to Cambridge & tells Washington "hey, wicked bub, we got these friggin cannons ya wanted"

          1 reply 2 retweets 43 likes
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        19. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          GW is pleased as Fuck all and waits for the snow to melt in Boston but since the snow never fuckin melts because it's fuckin Boston, he moves the guns into place in March and the Brits are like "o fuck what is this new shit that ye rebels have done"

          1 reply 1 retweet 54 likes
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        20. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          And then on March 4, GW posts cannon on Dorchestah Heights, and the Brits is all "o shit,ye demmed rebels, this fuckery we cannot stand" and they peace out for Nova Scotia on March 17 aka Evacuation Day aka Another Reason for Massholes to Get Drunk Day Wicked

          3 replies 7 retweets 81 likes
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        21. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          The lesson is: if your enemy is fuckin crazy enough to haul heavy ass cannon over mountains in the winter without the proper transportation, MAYBE TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY also don't piss off Massholes Also also Henry Knox turned into a giant git post-war & defrauded vets of land

          6 replies 8 retweets 98 likes
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        22. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 24 Jan 2020

          But, uh, yah. That's how that basically went down. Yessah So this has been #drunjhistory Tip your friggin bartenders or whatever

          8 replies 5 retweets 141 likes
          Show this thread
        23. End of conversation

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