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pptsapper's profile
Angry Staff Officer
Angry Staff Officer
Angry Staff Officer
@pptsapper

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Angry Staff Officer

@pptsapper

History person, Army officer, transplanted Buckeye. Writes stuff. Some Star Wars. One half of @warstoriescast. Views do not reflect or represent the DoD's.

The Edge of Empire
angrystaffofficer.com
Joined September 2011

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    1. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

      It's Sunday night and that's the time that we do what, Twitter people? If the answer is "have some booze and think about how the senior officers of the US Army on the northern border were complete imbeciles in 1812," you're absolutely correct Look, i am who I am, ok

      84 replies 150 retweets 1,610 likes
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    2. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

      Bear in mind that I'm also making dinner as I do this which means that I might substitute some garlic for some Henry Dearborn or maybe vice versa Also, gin So. To start off with. War of 1812. It's really a messpic.twitter.com/yiCL05vv1y

      2 replies 6 retweets 228 likes
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    3. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

      You've got Jimmy Madison in power. He's of the Democratic Republicans, the party to scare the shit outta any independent. The D-Rs, they're for small guvmint, low taxes, small army, small Navy, and just basically getting reelected And they don't like the Britishpic.twitter.com/FYvD0Betzn

      3 replies 7 retweets 159 likes
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    4. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

      On the other side, you've got the Federalists. Mostly rich and really rich dudes who are basically really fond of the Brits and sometimes get some really lustful thoughts when thinking about monarchy and get freaked out by pure democracypic.twitter.com/y37YTx8FcQ

      7 replies 9 retweets 170 likes
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    5. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

      So, shit is polarized af in a time where shit is also scary af. The Brits are seizing seamen and not abandoning their forts on our borders per Treaty of Paris and all that and also not letting us trade with whoever we want Altho they agree to stop doing those things in 1812pic.twitter.com/BBkSM0N31u

      3 replies 6 retweets 142 likes
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    6. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

      Nevertheless, the D-Rs are pretty committed to this war thing, especially because a groundswell of support from politicians in Tennessee and Kentucky and Pennsylvania who are pretttttty sure that they can TOTALLY snag Canada at this time bc that's what Kentuckians are experts inpic.twitter.com/Vbtoo3rnzS

      4 replies 8 retweets 164 likes
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      Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

      A word about out FRENS UP NORTH Look y'all,at this point, no one in Britain wants to move to Canada. Too cold. So the population is part French habitants, part reluctant Brit settlers, a BIG part Loyalists who went north, and "late Loyalists" aka US ppl who want cheap landpic.twitter.com/ddwNAcU4Az

      4:31 PM - 12 Jan 2020
      • 9 Retweets
      • 166 Likes
      • Paul J Lehane Cynthia S. Skye Patrick Andraste Hollis jb Lara Simmon Sam B Autumn Deidre 🍁 Vaccinated & Masked (again) Cheryl
      9 replies 9 retweets 166 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          Population-wise, it ain't even a contest. US wins. Hell, most of the Canadians are like "ugh just get on with it and get it over with so we can move on with our lives"pic.twitter.com/TEiSLCT6F6

          4 replies 4 retweets 125 likes
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        3. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          So, you might be saying, man, the US has this thing wrapped up. Britain is too busy with Napoleon Shortaparte to send much help to Canada, we outnumber them, this should be.... A mere matter of marching?pic.twitter.com/z2gNAp6ACd

          5 replies 5 retweets 145 likes
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        4. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          Enter: Henry "there's a Federalist under my chair" Dearborn, US Army, commanding Now Hank, he goes wayyyy back. Ol boy was at Bunker Hill but That was a loooong time ago Since then, he's intrigued to try to start a war with Spain & worked to remove most Federalists from Armypic.twitter.com/OgMJq91WXY

          10 replies 8 retweets 132 likes
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        5. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          War kicks off - Congress is like "UNLEASH YHE KRAKEN INTO CANADA" only there's no kraken because the US Army is miniscule & underfunded. Madison is like "THE MILITIA" but didn't bother to check the state constitutions that said "no, militia can't play over international borders"pic.twitter.com/kNZHevWVmF

          3 replies 6 retweets 167 likes
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        6. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          Madison is all, "Hank Dearborn, go DO SOMETHING" but Dearborn is just hanging out in Boston for... A while. Like queen liz with Jesuits, Dearborn worried there was a Federalist behind every tree, undermining him. Sliiightly paranoid, this guy.pic.twitter.com/BgGxuivNSw

          1 reply 6 retweets 114 likes
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        7. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          As commander of the Northeast, Dearborn had SO MUCH TO DO Basically, the sitch was the same as tje French and Indian War with the Brits in the place of the French and the US in place of the Brits. There were 3 key points: Detroit, Niagara, and Lake Champlain corridorpic.twitter.com/LCvAD9jxeV

          1 reply 5 retweets 115 likes
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        8. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          Now, Detroit. You've got General William Hull, who's another veteran of the RevWar aka OLD. He's the first governor of the Michigan territory. Bill Hull takes a force of 1200 milita & regulars out to Detroit, from southwestern Ohio Now this is where Hull makes a major boo boopic.twitter.com/bYi8vkWoGi

          2 replies 3 retweets 107 likes
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        9. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          He doesn't get the memo that there's a war on because he starts his movement in May, when there's still peace. So he sends all his private baggage, including his campaign plans, on a schooner up the river to Detroit. The Brits, who are aware there's a war on, capture it Oopspic.twitter.com/g4nlGpHSDk

          1 reply 4 retweets 135 likes
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        10. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          Hull gets to Detroit & has a force of about 2800 men. So, y'know, he invades Canada in July & issues the inhabitants of Windsor Ontario a nice proclamation to the effect that they're all free, or whatever So the D-Rs are like wooooot, we winnin this thing alreadypic.twitter.com/v9JGay6wKN

          2 replies 3 retweets 121 likes
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        11. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          The Brits had two things going for them: Major General Sir Isaac "oh fuckit, let's attack" Brock, and a sturdy alliance with First Nations people Have I mentioned how terrified US people were of the First Nations/Native Americans? You bout to find outpic.twitter.com/mFcRiiy8wb

          6 replies 10 retweets 168 likes
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        12. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          Brock shows up with like 1200 regulars, militia, and Shawnee, ambushes ONE US patrol, And Hull scuttles back to Detroit & locks himself up. Brock comes knocking & is like "uh, so if you surrender now, I can guarantee your safety from the Indians" and Hull is like never Jk. Hullpic.twitter.com/KyzH3QA4G3

          2 replies 3 retweets 145 likes
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        13. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          Within TWO MONTHS of declaring war suddenly the US has lost upper Michigan as well as a big portion of its force and damn, we didn't have much to play with But, hey, that's Michigan. No one cares about them. What's goin on in upstate NY?pic.twitter.com/SUlvxRMLHE

          6 replies 5 retweets 129 likes
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        14. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          Well, up on the Niagara, you got.. aw shit, I can't spell this drunk. Stephan van Rens. Ren. Kylo. Rensselaer, that's the chap. And he is PEAK FEDERALIST. Like, no shit, one of ten wealthiest people in the US. Ever. By the time Of his death, he's worth 101 billion in our moneypic.twitter.com/ybZxGhFJmQ

          4 replies 8 retweets 139 likes
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        15. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          Madison offers Steve command of army on the Niagara but it's a trick! If he refuses, his political career is more toasted than I am right now He accepts it. And now Madison is like fffuuuuuuu cause there's a dude in command who's now spending half his time hobnobbing w Brit Ospic.twitter.com/mu9uRmuv1n

          1 reply 4 retweets 116 likes
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        16. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          In their camp up on the river, the Army is composed of militia who are mainly D-Rs and they wanna rumbllllllle But Steve is all about that "hanging around with Brit officers life" and not about invading Canadapic.twitter.com/JGawftPh0E

          1 reply 3 retweets 101 likes
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        17. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          Making matters WORSE Is regular brigadier Alexander Smyth who's subordinate to van... Van.. that Ren guy Smyth does NOT like to be subordinate to a Federalsit and a militiaman and so just makes fun of Ren the whole time & doesn't support himpic.twitter.com/NUyF4cWOMj

          2 replies 4 retweets 100 likes
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        18. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          To make it WEIRDER D-R politician turned general Ben Porter moves in around Buffalo to start his OWN army, one that is devoted to the MANLINESS of the US cause, full of D-R militia who spend a lotta time raising Federalist houses and hotels cause that's how the war works, right?pic.twitter.com/GTi0rvgIpn

          3 replies 4 retweets 107 likes
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        19. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          Now in Oct, Van Kylo Ren realizes he's gotta do SOMETHING and makes plans to cross the river and attack. Smyth decides not to support because fuck that dude. So they go across the river and at first things go well. Till Van Rens takes five bullets and the attack stallspic.twitter.com/D70mn3TLA4

          2 replies 3 retweets 96 likes
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        20. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          Some militia decide that they ain't gonna play and don't cross the river, so Brock attacks cause it's what he does but then he gets killed but it's still enough to push the US forces back across the river even though LTC Winfield Scott is all "IM TRYING, OK"pic.twitter.com/8SnWlqxKrE

          5 replies 3 retweets 97 likes
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        21. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          So the Battle of Queenston is uhhhh basically a nada. Smyth is now in command and he spends most of his time arguing with Porter up the river Not just arguing Duelling As a historian says, "Unfortunately, they both missed"pic.twitter.com/oE4rLRf4s5

          4 replies 8 retweets 149 likes
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        22. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          Ok, so that's two routes shut down. How bout that third one. Ya know, the one aimed up that big ass river? The St Lawrence. That one. Weeeelllllllllll there's a problem there. David Parish lives right in that area. And he don't want trouble. Why should anyone care?pic.twitter.com/iFAKPzger7

          2 replies 6 retweets 101 likes
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        23. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          Wellll, dudebro has underwritten some big ass loans to the US government which is flat broke, btw, and needs the money to keep fighting a really unpopular war Sooooooo despite one short attempt in 1813, no one goes the way that guaranteed success in that war...the 7 years onepic.twitter.com/f9t0K90LSC

          1 reply 2 retweets 86 likes
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        24. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          So, uh, to recap year one, the US loses northern Michigan and then collapses slowly around Niagara and doesn't even bother to go up the actual successful way British commanders are likepic.twitter.com/yu2riQamP9

          3 replies 4 retweets 106 likes
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        25. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          So, uh, that's year one of this while shebang Porter also tries to cross the river but, uh, kinda totally fails It only SLIGHTLY gets better over the next few years Barely I mean, if it isn't for the Navy...we kinda screwedpic.twitter.com/4Pphz2wJ3y

          4 replies 4 retweets 112 likes
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        26. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 12 Jan 2020

          But the key takeaway here is, like DON'T MAKE A WAR THAT HALF THE COUNTRY DOESN'T WANT and y'know, don't invade Canadapic.twitter.com/YyIfu3nxOG

          11 replies 18 retweets 242 likes
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        27. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 13 Jan 2020

          Reading this in the cold light of day, I realized something dreadful I forgot the worst one of them all The man Anthony Wayne called "the worst of bad men" Who historian Alan Taylor calls America's first great actor The one, the only, James Wilkinson

          5 replies 7 retweets 81 likes
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        28. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 13 Jan 2020

          Wilkinson is... Well, there a really isn't a con man who could approach Jimmy Wilkinson. Like, ever. He shammed, bamboozled, and blustered his way into influential post after influential post - only to get fired and forced to resign But he always landed on his feet

          7 replies 5 retweets 55 likes
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        29. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 13 Jan 2020

          Wilkinson attached himself to influential generals during the Revolution, serving as their aides. Finally, even the egotistical Gates tired of him, forcing him to resign in 1779 But the Continental Congress thought he was a good dude & made him in charge of clothing the Army

          1 reply 0 retweets 42 likes
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        30. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 13 Jan 2020

          Early in 1781, Congress FINALLY cottoned on that money was going missing and the clothing for the Army was substandard, so Wilkinson got fired So he headed to Kentucky, where he made money on plantations He heads to Spanish New Orleans in 1787 & enters in the pay of Spain

          4 replies 2 retweets 45 likes
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        31. Angry Staff Officer‏ @pptsapper 13 Jan 2020

          Yeah, you heard me Wilkinson is now a double agent In 1791, he gets reinstated in the Army. He soon rises from LTC to brigadier general. Subordinate to Anthony Wayne, who HATES him Wilkinson tries to smear Wayne, calling him crazy, hence "Mad" Anthony Wayne

          2 replies 4 retweets 47 likes
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        32. Show replies

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