I haven’t worked on any project that would really excite me in more than 2 years, and that is worrying me a lot recently.
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It seems like I have fallen into the trap of trying to improve myself, and have been more interested in thinking about who I want to be instead of what I want to work on. This year I have been trying to be more productive, read more books, be more organized.
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But now I think that this is the wrong problem to attack—being a better version of myself is a strange goal, and it seems I pursued it mainly for social approval, sense of validation. The way to win is to focus on the ball, not on your own actions.
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Self-improvement for its own sake is forgetting about the ball's existence.
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Doing efficiently that which should not be done at all, etc.
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It is easy to start optimizing the things that are easy to optimize: number of books read, number of tasks and pomodoros completed, number of coffees you had with interesting people. It is hard to stop and think what I am doing all of that for.
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End of conversation
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