Scott Moschella

The G4 art department was a group of talented and fun folks. They survived multiple complete set makeovers, a Power Wheels Car with a massive dildo mounted to the front, and a kiddie pool full of pudding.

However, one set piece they made for us that we all hated (even though I'm sure they were made to spec based on someone else's stupid idea) were these two goofy-ass looking robots that were in front of our Twitter wall.

It seems no one thought about what we'd fill that empty space with. And holy fuck, it was empty over there every time we went to the Twitter wall. I think we even stopped checking in with Twitter, because now, the set looked abandoned.

Some background is needed here to explain how a seemingly intelligent, creative group didn’t think about the consequences of those missing robots: At this point, the segment producers are almost 100% removed from the show's larger creative process.

We each have 'buckets' to fill -- like I have to produce a segment called "Go Hack Yourself" about pointless life hacks — which is pretty much Kevin’s TruTV show! No one's telling me what to make or how to make it - but it has to fit my assignment.

There's an approvals process, but pretty much if I think it's a decent idea, I usually get a green light. However, we as producers didn't get much say in the bigger stuff or stuff viewers actually gave a shit about, like what to put in place of those stupid robots.

Michael says he only needs Kevin and Olivia's faces and and hands. He'll sculpt their hair, and he's going to use mannequin bodies for their torsos, arms, legs and feet.

I painstakingly walk through every step of the process: deciding whether to use LED effects (yep), what kind of wood to use (beats the fuck out of me), what kind of clothes to put on the mannequin bodies (I get a shirt and pants for Kevin and a dress for Olivia from wardrobe)...

...how long it takes to do a cast of Kevin and Olivia's hands and faces (about 30 minutes after they pour it). Of course, we can only do this shit on a Friday because we have no live show on Friday.

AND it has to be a very specific Friday because we have to get it done and produced before our first week of shows in April - because of "Epic April".

If you didn't know, Epic April was a yearly promotional stunt for the network — a month of AOTS shows wherein the show's producers were forced to work twice as hard.

This amounted to making countless half-baked 'stunts' a reality. Hopefully the show's fans enjoyed it, but we producers mostly hated every second of it.

Originally it was Epictober (which I called Fucktober), but for some reason they switched over to doing this stunty shit in April (maybe for sweeps?) so "Epic April" was born -- and sadly, Fuckapril isn't as funny.

On this very specific Friday, we're all to meet at Michael Mosher's (@mikemakeupguy) studio in downtown LA -- I think somewhere on 6th street.

So me, our field producer, shooter and audio person, our makeup artist/ hairstylist Diana and Kevin Pereira all show up around the right time, but Olivia is late.

The network had a habit of overbooking the shit out of Olivia - she was the face of the network. I'm not sure what they had her doing that morning that was more important than getting frozen in Carbonite.

Whatever it was, some corporate asshole in a suit totally fucked me that day by deciding it was better to have Olivia do some press stuff, or some photo shoot or some other bullshit instead of being on time to this very specific appointment.

Olivia finally arrives nearly an hour late, and she's apologizing profusely even though it's totally not her fault whatsoever.

We're all ready to start shooting and then Olivia asks, "Is there petroleum in that goop you're going to pour on our heads?" Totally crazy specific question, but Michael the Makeup Guy is like, "Yes, this stuff IS made with petroleum."

So Olivia says, "You can't pour that on my face, my eyelashes are fake and the glue that holds them on will dissolve if you pour that goop on them." ...

Now I'm getting a sinking feeling in my stomach that Olivia doesn't want to do this, but when I look at Diana, our makeup artist, she's nodding her head in agreement. Olivia's totally telling the truth.

Olivia pulls me aside and tells me she HAS NO EYELASHES. She has trichotillomania, a compulsive condition in which a person nervously pulls out their hair — or in this case: eyelashes. She’s disclosed her condition publicly since this incident, but at the time I was stunned.

I'm in damage control mode for sure now, and I'm like,"how can we solve this problem?" because fuck if I know and Michael the special effects guy suggests that we get some swimming goggles to put over Olivia's eyes. Goggles will prevent her eyelashes from melting off her face.

And I can't believe that finding swimming goggles in downtown LA is even a thing, but one of Michael’s guys runs out and 7 minutes later he's back with swimming goggles. Yay!

So we put them on Olivia and they fit and then Olivia says, "how long is this going to take?" and I'm pretty sure everyone knows it takes 20-30 minutes once they pour the goop because I included the exact amount of time I needed Kevin and Olivia for in my request (two hours!!!).

And Olivia’s like, "I have another appointment and I have to leave in 45 minutes." which is DEFINITELY NOT ENOUGH TIME to shoot intros, outros, the pouring process and whatever the fuck else. WHAT. A. CLUSTERFUCK.