Phil Schwarzmann

@PhilSchwarzmann

Comic. Author. Corporate whore.

San Francisco
philschwarzmann.com
Joined January 2009
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  1. Oct 21

    Yo we’re watching “Three Identical Strangers” and get the pleasure of meeting your grandma (?) !! Cool lady. She made out with Obama. 😂

    1 reply
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  2. Oct 17

    Just left the SF District 2 debates. Came in voting for and left voting for . The only proud progressive, in front of a sea of moderates, who had original ideas AND refused to abandon SF values like the others.

    1 reply 3 likes
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  3. Oct 16

    How much Native American DNA must you have before you can wear an Indian headdress on Halloween? Asking for a friend/senator.

    1 like
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  4. Sep 27

    Are you telling me that interview process is REALLY HARD for a lifetime job that Trump called "most coveted in the world"?? It's been a long 10-days for Brett. Poor baby.

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  5. Sep 27

    Advice to women testifying at hearings: Be strong. Be stoic. Don't raise your voice, but don't be too soft. And most importantly: NO TEARS Advice to men testifying at hearings: Yell. Cry. Be rude. Show as much emotion as possible.

    2 retweets 3 likes
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  6. Sep 27

    100 bottles of beer on the wall, 100 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, Brett drank all the bottles of beer on the wall.

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  7. Retweeted
    Sep 27

    never thought i'd see the day that beer became uncool. rip to beer

    33 replies 527 retweets 4,876 likes
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  8. Retweeted
    Sep 27

    Got a peak of ’s notes!

    7 replies 58 retweets 397 likes
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  9. Retweeted
    Sep 27

    I'm starting to think Brett Kavanaugh bet a ton in Vegas on not getting confirmed, and is simply throwing the hearing.

    50 replies 121 retweets 757 likes
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  10. Sep 27

    Everybody assume that's Kavanaugh's wife behind him, but it's actually Maggie Gyllenhaal.

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  11. Retweeted
    Sep 27

    He keeps talking about clearing his good name, but I think we can all agree Brett is a bad name

    2 replies 5 retweets 70 likes
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  12. Sep 27

    Ever seen a guy try so hard to convince people that he *IS* a virgin?

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  13. Sep 27

    And with that, Brett Kavanaugh officially kicks off Oscar season!

    1 like
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  14. Sep 27

    I was worried Kavanaugh's kids would have to watch this and hear the words "running a train". Now I'm more worried about them watching this and just seeing their dad.

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  15. Sep 27

    Drinking beers, yelling, then crying. Wow, is it Thanksgiving with the Schwarzmann's already?

    1 like
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  16. Sep 27

    Kavanaugh "drinking beers with friends".

    2 likes
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  17. Sep 27

    Kavanaugh having some beers.

    1 like
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  18. Sep 27

    Yelling then crying? Yeah, alcohol withdrawals will do that to you.

    1 like
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  19. Sep 27

    I didn't know that Brett Kavanaugh was Stevie from "Eastbound and Down"! Cool!

    1 like
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  20. Sep 27

    For a guy who's trying to demonstrate he's not an angry drunk, he's coming across as an angry drunk.

    2 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
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