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David 
Muller
Muller@phaezen
In an age of performative cruelty, kindness is punk as fuck. Be punk as fuck
@Phaezen@mastodon.world
Cape Town, South AfricaJoined January 2009
David 💉💉💉 Muller’s Tweets
They were close friends and spinsters who shared a tomb for eternity...
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Erm... I don't have words for this.
Actually, I do, and as much as I love a good swear the words I have are not fit to publish.
The anatomy of a terrible "apology"
I am sorry, it is someone else's fault, the person I wronged must fix the situation.
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you don't become a billionaire without being a grade A narcissist and batshit insane.
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Elon Musk now has bodyguards flank him everywhere inside Twitter HQ — including accompanying him to the bathroom. He is reportedly paranoid that someone in the company may go rogue & stage a coup.
thedailybeast.com/bodyguards-fol
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All seems to be going to plan
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Guys dont worry @XCOM 2 is going fine. Absolutely nailing it. Nothing to worry about.
Dear websites don't try and force me to make an account to read an article, even if it is free. Just stop that shit.
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TIL The USA averages around 3 derailment events a **DAY**.
First world what now?
Stage 4 is status quo in 2023.
It shouldn't be.
There has been 16 years for the government and eskom to come up with a solution.
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#POWERALERT1
Stage 4 loadshedding will be implemented from 16:00 today until Tuesday morning
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This is Uncle John's occasional reminder that you were not put on this earth to be efficient.
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Twitter acting like nothing happened yesterday
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Mutuals who are following that racist arse pigspotter need to do better.
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Telling that Almond Rusk has not acknowledged the 2 hour timeline outage yesterday.
The fact that this is being reported as unusual explains a lot about coalition politics in South Africa
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Cope wants contract drawn up with ANC & EFF coalition partners to ensure accountability
By Thabiso Goba
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five drinks to know me:
Coffee, black americano, no sugar
Milkshake, chocolate or salted caramel
Guava Juice
Rooibos
A nice single malt scotch
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five drinks to know me:
iced kopi
dirty chai
redbull 
florence pugh martini
HoM rusty nail twitter.com/coquet_tish/st…
florence pugh martini
HoM rusty nail twitter.com/coquet_tish/st…1
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Why does this exchange read like a Monty Python skit?
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This from @telegraph WhatsApp leak might be why Rishi Sunak thinks everyone should study maths until 18. Maybe it suggests politicians should be sent to maths lessons before being allowed to make decisions.
Twitter was briefly back up, but seems to have tripped over Almond Rusk's shoelaces again
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Everything they accuse the left of is projection.
Everything.
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BREAKING: Rupert Murdoch and Fox colluded with Jared Kushner and the Trump campaign and provided Kushner with access to "Fox confidential information about Biden's ads, along with debate strategy" and gave Kushner a preview of Biden's ads before they were public.
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The iphone twitter apps seem to be up
**Snort**
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Current timeline - Corporate tweets and people posting screenshots of how Twitter is broken.
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Alpha males as a concept are made up and not an actual thing.
Also, if you have to keep reminding everyone that you are an Alpha Male then you are probably not what you think you are.
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One of life's hardest lessons, being a friend with yourself.
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Turns out we have an effective vaccine for mpox, also since we have been aware of it since the 1970s we know how to treat it.
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Today in fucking yikes.
Besides keeping that nice x pattern from the confederate themed Cape Independence flag, we are incorporating the flags of the Boer republics? One of them reversed for some reason.
But tell me how the whole movement isn't racist?
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This dude who posted this is quickly learning in the comments about how hard it is to please everybody, but how easy it is to upset them.
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I would ask if anyone else has noticed interactions with their tweets dwindling, but I suspect I might be shouting into the void.
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Left, but I wouldn't kick right off my plate.
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Fucking winning.
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[wading through liquid shit at Margate]
“Haha, yes! I found one! In your face, Brussels bureaucrats!”
Gonna be lovely with a bit of mozzarella and a drizzle of olive oil, that.
read image description
ALT
Why is it the guy tweeting about girls with dyed and/or short hair being unfeminine almost always, without fail, has a timeline full of hentai girls?
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So, back up to stage 6 by tomorrow morning then?
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#PowerAlert1
Loadshedding will be gradually reduced to Stage 3 during the course of the week
Without downloading any pics, where's your mental health at?
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Without downloading any pics, where's your mental health at? twitter.com/Jerseypiper77/…
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Unless you live out in the wilds, such as Durbanville.
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Just a reminder to tourists. When Uber is surging on a Sunday you can still take very empty MyCiTi busses. @MyCiTiBus @UrbanLo @CapeTown #capetown
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100 Miles? That is less than a 2 hour drive.
Also with $1billion I would be traveling so much it would be hard to call anywhere home.
But let's say Zurich, purely for convenience as a base of operations.
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Someone offers you $1 Billion with one condition:
You have to move to a city at least 100 miles away from where you live now.
Which city do you choose?
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A snapshot of the inside of my brain.
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LIFE IS CHAOS AND I AM BASICALLY ALWAYS TIRED BUT I HAVE FAIRLY EASY ACCESS TO HOT CHEESE SO I GUESS I WILL HANG IN THERE
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"He can't be a predator, because then *I'd* be a predator," says predator. twitter.com/MichaelJPartyk
This Tweet is unavailable.
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The important legislating the GOP is pushing forward right now.
The USA needs a national gun, and it needs to be the AR15
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