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hello friends this is my book (out April 11) and I would love very much if you pre-ordered it! if you like moby dick jokes, Richard Nixon jokes, or Emily Dickinson jokes, it is the book for you! now to post this at 6 pm on a Friday for maximum engagement bookshop.org/p/books/alexan

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Washington Post Opinions

@PostOpinions

18h

The latest satire from

: FROM THE DESK OF FLORIDA GOV. RON DESANTIS — FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Opinion | Florida demands revisions of woke AP calculus, chemistry curriculums

AP Calculus: Omit positive references to integration and change.

23h

anyway glad I get to be awake to write

I dreamed I had to write an insulting description of Elon Musk and the second I woke up I scrambled to my notes to write the dream-insult down it was: “two potatoes that aren’t true” so uh take that I guess

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Ethan May

@EthanMayJ

Stick around for the last line of this

column. You won't won't be disappointed.

Opinion | These birds are not extinct. Welcome … to Dodo Park!

They’re dodos. How dangerous could they possibly be?

Jason "Bomb Cyclone" Kelley

@JGKelley

Elon Musk Is Pulling the Plug on a Tool That Made Twitter Great

I wrote about how Elon ending Twitter's free API access is going to kill some of the best parts of the site—and make it harder for researchers, activists, and all sorts of people to use the site at all. PLUS: Shoutout to

@possumeveryhour

slate.com

What we’ll be left with is a Twitter that’s less fun, less open, less interesting, and more expensive—but with just as many problems as before.

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*a black SUV drives down a dirt road towards a small house. Two agents in suits get out and knock. a grizzled, retired Balloon Boy comes to the door*

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Wajahat Ali

@WajahatAli

Florida demands revisions of woke AP calculus, chemistry curriculums

Opinion | Florida demands revisions of woke AP calculus, chemistry curriculums

AP Calculus: Omit positive references to integration and change.

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Redwall Feasts Bot

@RedwallFeasts

Chestnut bread was served with white cheese with almonds and hazelnuts, a large hazelnut 'n' wild plum juice crumble was brought out, and barley beer and plum wine flowed freely.

405

Feb 2

AP English Literature: Includes books.

Opinion | Florida demands revisions of woke AP calculus, chemistry curriculums

AP Calculus: Omit positive references to integration and change.

Feb 2

that exact level of tired when you take an accidental nap and dream that you are taking a nap but in a more comfortable place and better position

214

AP African American studies course is watered down after GOP pressure

Amanda Terkel

@aterkel

Feb 1

On the first day of Black History Month, the College Board releases a revised version of its AP African American studies course that appears to make significant concessions to GOP objections nbcnews.com/politics/polit by

@rosehorowitch

@abedelman

nbcnews.com

In the revised syllabus for the course, the College Board made substantial revisions to sections criticized by Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis' administration.

six times!

five times!

oh no I anthropomorphized it and am sad now

I feel almost bad forcing it to start up and keep going once more when the old girl so clearly wants to just shut down and rest

hmm in the course of this live chat my laptop has now died four times

grant me the confidence of the older gentleman loudly asking “What does *that* signify?” during my Tar showing

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still true today!

Quote Tweet

Jan 25

hey Barnes & Noble is having a sale where you can get 25% off any books you preorder by using code PREORDER25! including this one, a book I have selected at random because I am an unbiased, impartial arbiter of good books to preorder barnesandnoble.com/w/alexandra-pe

Ariel Edwards-Levy

@aedwardslevy

that's fine, one egg is un oeuf twitter.com/crampell/statu

This Tweet is unavailable.

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2,952

7! I genuinely buy bags of them! the heart wants what it wants

Quote Tweet

𝘾𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙨 𝙂𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙚

@Chris_Grosse

Jan 25

OK, you can only write with ONE type of pen for the rest of your life, which one are you picking? (ignoring the ink color)

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it may seem like they are everywhere but there are actually steps you can take to prevent their showing up in your home!

Opinion | Classified documents are everywhere! They are coming for us all!

No! You have nothing to be afraid of!

Jan 25

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Honest Chocolates

@honestchocs

Jan 24

“Green didn’t like how Red seemed to be on a first-name basis with the Fox News host.”

shares the fate of the M&M spokescandies. #bigchocolate (My Washington Post subscription allows me to share this gift article, at no cost to you.)

Opinion | The final hours of the M&M’s spokescandies

Green could not deny that it had been Corporate’s idea. She had awakened in January of 2022 to find herself altered.

washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/

Sen.

: “Ticketmaster should look in the mirror and say ‘I’m the problem it’s me’”

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washingtonpost.comOpinion | The final hours of the M&M’s spokescandiesGreen could not deny that it had been Corporate’s idea. She had awakened in January of 2022 to find herself altered.

Jan 24

alternate title: I have no mouth and I must scream&m

The following media includes potentially sensitive content. Change settings

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Jan 24

The Harrowing Final Hours of the M&M Spokescandies

Opinion | The final hours of the M&M’s spokescandies

Green could not deny that it had been Corporate’s idea. She had awakened in January of 2022 to find herself altered.

Jan 23

and i can say this as a person who is always saying 'nbc hannibal is great'

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look this was a weird way for it to happen but i think it is inherently unsettling when the mascot begging you to eat the product is the thing you're going to eat if the ad succeeds

746

"spokescandies" is one of those words where all of reality starts to unravel around you if you look at it too long

535

Jan 23

Well, the State Department’s recent decision to change its standard communique typeface from Times New Roman has caused quite a meltdown — or, as I like to call it, a font-do.

Opinion | Other fonts I hope the State Department considered

Wingdings is great if you want to take a lot of very controversial foreign policy steps without anyone noticing what you are doing.

Opinion | If ‘Law & Order’ investigations went like the Supreme Court leak

The Supreme Court's investigation found that the leak culprit was … unknowable?

Chris Rukan

@ChrisRukan

Jan 21

Making this quickie illo for

's column was the most fun 20 minutes of my day on Friday. (click to see all the potential fonts)

Opinion | Other fonts I hope the State Department considered

Wingdings is great if you want to take a lot of very controversial foreign policy steps without anyone noticing what you are doing.

washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/

Jan 21

Opinion | If ‘Law & Order’ investigations went like the Supreme Court leak

The Supreme Court's investigation found that the leak culprit was … unknowable?

Jan 20

when you’re a tired person who gets dressed you become attired person (i’m tired)

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Today’s fourth

TikTok features the debt ceiling tiktok.com/t/ZTRpfSt6B/

0:48

43.9K views

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Rex Huppke

@RexHuppke

Jan 19

"dogs I helped reduce" 🤔 twitter.com/Santos4Congres

This Tweet is unavailable.

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