"how can i know if my query is slow or not?" i took a swing at answering on the public slack just now ( postgres-slack.herokuapp.com ) but it seemed twitter-worthy as well. because: age-old "database" question (not really) that will continue to repeat for all time
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Another angle: Look at the total amount of data the query processes (sum of all explain buffer stats) and how long it runs. E.g. 500 MB in 4s. Then ask yourself a) Is 500 MB a reasonable amount of data for the query? b) Could you write a program processing 500 MB in less time?
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I agree that that's really important but somehow widely underappreciated